Shhh! The Movie's Starting

Zombieland (2009)

2012-01-27T08:00:00.000-10:00

This is an outrageously funny – yea, even plain ol'outrageous – movie. Pretty slow-motiony gross too. I don't know why, butwatching panicked people running away from zombies just cracked me up.

Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg), a rare survivor in aworld gone zombie (due to a mutant strain of mad cow disease), survives becausehe follows some rules that govern his life. Rules like: "Cardio"(fatties are first to be eaten), "Double tap" (shoot zombies twice),"Beware of bathrooms" (you're exposed with your pants down), and"Seatbelts" (to survive car crashes).

His first zombie encounter is with the girl fromApartment 406, whom he refers to as "406" (Amber Heard). Things godownhill from there.

On his way to Columbus, Columbus meets up withTwinkie-loving zombie killer Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), who's headed forTallahassee (see a pattern developing here?); they compromise and agree onTexarkana. Tallahassee asks him about the first time he had sex. His answer?With a girl headed west to Beverly Hills. Her name? Guess.

While looking for Twinkies at a supermarket, theymeet Wichita (Emma Stone) and her 12-year-old sister, Little Rock (Abigail Breslin), who want to go to PacificPlayland near Los Angeles. The sisters rob them blind, taking everything,including their rifles and car. Turns out they were actually experienced scamartists, pre-Zombieland.

When they reach L.A., they set up quarters at thehome of Bill Murray. Only problem is, Bill Murray's still living there, made uplike a zombie so he'll "blend in." ("Who you gonna call?Ghostbusters!") Ummmm, Columbus shoots him, unaware that he's just joshing.But at least they bury him with ceremonies ... kinda.

There's more, but I gotta go. I hear zombies outsidemy bathroom door. (I knew I shouldn't have sat down ... I forgot Rule #3.) Asfor you, hang around until the closing credits finish rolling for an outtakewith Bill Murray and Abigail Breslin.

Zombie cameo roles were offered to Patrick Swayze(prior to his cancer diagnosis), Joe Pesci, Mark Hamill, Dwayne Johnson, KevinBacon, Jean-Claude Van Damme and Matthew McConaughey.

One of Woody Harrelson's conditions for hisparticipation was that director Ruben Fleischer not eat dairy products forseven days. Although Fleischer found it hard to do, he ended up being avegetarian for 11 months.

Originally intended to be a television pilot, Zombieland was expanded into a movie andmade a lot of money. Its production budget was $23.6 million; its box officeexceeded $102 million, making it the highest-grossing film (inflation adjusted)starting with "Z," and the most successful zombie movie in history. Asequel is apparently in the works, as well as a possible television series.

Grade:B+

Four Feathers (1939)

2012-01-25T08:00:00.000-10:00

FourFeathers is based on A.E.W. Mason's 1902 novel. It is thefourth (and considered by most to be the best) of seven films inspired by thebook; the most recent version, which starred Heath Ledger and Kate Hudson, wasreleased in 2002.

In 1895 Sudan, the British Army's North SurreyRegiment joins Sir Henry Kitchener in his Mahdist War campaign. Their adversaryis Abdallahi ibn Muhammad, aka The Khalifa (John Laurie).

Quite unexpectedly, Lt. Harry Faversham (JohnClements) resigns his commission just as his unit is about to enter the fray inThe Sudan. Extremely dismayed by his decision, his fellow-officer friends –Capt. John Durrance (Ralph Richardson), Lt. Peter Burroughs (Donald Gray) andLt. Thomas Willoughby (Jack Allen) – consider him a coward.

His "reward"? White feathers. One eachfrom his friends. Three white feathers presented to Faversham, branding him acraven coward. This distresses him, as he comes from an old British family richin heroic military tradition.

After getting no support from his fiancee, EthneBurroughs (June Duprez), Harry demands she give him a feather as well. When sherefuses, he takes one from her fan. Ethne's father, the retired Gen. Burroughs(C. Aubrey Smith), is disgusted and refuses to even talk to him.

The need for soldiers in The Sudan grows, andwanting to atone for his cowardly action, Harry confides in Dr. Sutton(Frederick Culley), an old friend of his father, that he's going to Egypt, andwith the help of Dr. Harraz (Henry Oscar), poses as a mute Sangali native(forehead brand and all) to provide clandestine help to his old regiment.

Capt. Durrance is blinded by sunstroke afterspotting Dervishes and tries to lead his advance troops away from an attack.Harry, meanwhile, has infiltrated the enemy camp and is traveling with them,the better to provide help if it is needed. When the contingent is overrun anddecimated, Lts. Burroughs and Willoughby are taken prisoner.

Harry is able to rescue his friends, sufferinghardship and indignities in the process, while keeping his true identitysecret, eventually repaying each debt of his earlier cowardice.

The climax of the film, a massive confrontationbetween the armies of Kitchener and The Khalifa and the uprising of theFabersham-led convicts, is depicted on a grand and epic scale. The British winan overwhelming victory, and stories of their conquest reach Capt. Durrance, whofinally figures out who his savior was.

When the movie ended, all I could think was,"Wow, what a wonderful story!"

FourFeathers received an Oscar nomination for the BestCinematography, Color. And rightly so. The film's color is brilliant, not onlyfor its time, but the early Technicolor process stands up well to some oftoday's films, vastly superior to colorized versions of old black and whitefilms.

Grade:A-

Fitzwilly (1967)

2012-01-23T08:00:00.000-10:00

Fitzwillyis based on Poyntz Tyler's 1960 novel, AGarden of Cucumbers.

Claude "Fitzwilly" Fitzwilliam (Dick VanDyke), Williams College honor graduate and the consummate butler, is extremelydevoted to his employer, Miss Victoria Woodworth (Edith Evans), a very generousphilanthropist who's actually broke.

So how does he maintain the household and fund MissVickey's upscale living and extravagant giving? He and the rest of thehousehold staff conduct scams and robberies to keep the funds rolling in.

The staff is a good ensemble, including housekeeperGrimsby (Anne Seymour), chauffeur Oliver (a very young Sam Waterston), Pierre(Albert Carrier), and Buckmaster (Cecil Callaway), among others.

An opportunity presents itself. Byron Casey (StephenShrimpell) needs the Fitzwilly staff to complete a refurbishing job for him bya fast-approaching deadline, one that may make $75,000 available to MissVickey's bank account.

One day, a young college student named Juliet Nowell(Barbara Feldon, in her film debut), is hired by Miss Vickey to help with abook she's writing. Titled "Dictionary for Dopes," the book organizesall possible phonetic spellings of words, allowing the user to make the correctchoice. She and Fitzwilly butt heads from the start, but then begin to likeeach other.

Fitzwilly's life is hectic, running around to stay aheadof developments and complications, juggling crises, and maintaining his facade.Plus, the well-meaning Juliet keeps inadvertently foiling the staff's scams.Determined to get rid of her so she doesn't mess things up further, Fitzwillytakes her out on a date with the aim of coming on to her so she'll quit. Oops!She likes his advances. He's smitten too.

Juliet gets suspicious and snoops around. She playsthe guilt card and gets the whole story from one of the servants – Albert (JohnMcGiver), a former pastor with a sour disposition. She buys into everything,allowing one large caper, and she and Fitzwilly confess their love for eachother.

The group invades Gimbel's Department Store onChristmas Eve, creating confused diversion while robbing the store of all itscash ($190,000.00). Gimbel's executive Oberblatz (Norman Fell) is perplexed andbefuddled, and falls for Fitzwilly's ruse.

The problem is, Albert gets a bad case of theconfessions and spills the beans to the Gimbel's people ... making himself asacrificial lamb, so to speak. Just when all seems lost, Juliet'sScrabble-playing father (Harry Townes), helps pave the way for publication ofMiss Vickey's book. It makes a fortune.

. o O ( Oh darn it, I gave away the ending. )

Grade: C+

Conviction (2010)

2012-01-21T08:00:00.000-10:00

Convictionis based on a true story about a woman's drive to free her brother, who's beenwrongly accused and imprisoned for brutally murdering a woman.

Betty Anne Waters (Hilary Swank) is anon-traditional ("old") law student at Roger Williams University inRhode Island, trying to become a lawyer so she can help her brother, Kenny (SamRockwell), get out of prison, where he's been for the past 12 years.

She learns that DNA testing has become acceptableevidence in overturning convictions, and contacts Barry Scheck (PeterGallagher), an attorney with the Innocent Project, which specializes in DNAevidence. Things are looking up.

But they find out the evidence probably has longbeen destroyed, as is standard procedure when solved cases are 10 years old.

Alternating between law school, their siblingrelationship, the courtroom trial, and legal maneuvering by Betty Anne and hergood friend Abra Rice (Minnie Driver), her law school classmate, requires mindresets quite often because the story moves along at a rapid pace once it getsgoing.

Betty Anne and Abra find the evidence and BarryScheck signs on. But it's not going to be easy. Martha Coakley (Jennifer G.Roberts), the newly elected district attorney, stonewalls and stalls, but theresults eliminate Kenny as the source of the perpetrator's blood in theevidence files.

Unfortunately, DA Coakley doesn't vacate theverdict, saying there's enough evidence to convict him as an accomplice.Everybody is disappointed; Kenny is disheartened and gives up.

But the DNA doesn't just prove Kenny is innocent, itproves the witnesses were lying. It turns out that damning testimony by ex-wifeBrenda Marsh (Clea DuVall) and ex-girlfriend Roseanna Perry (Juliette Lewis)was coerced by Ayers Massachusetts Police Department Sgt. Nancy Taylor (MelissaLeo), who held a grudge against him.

After 18 years, Kenny and his daughter, Mandy (AriGraynor), are reunited.

The movie has a happy ending, but the Kenny Watersstory doesn't. Kenny died six months after being released from prison when hefell off a wall while taking a shortcut.

The family of Katharina Brow, the murder victim, hassaid they intend to sue Hilary Swank for not consulting with them, and failingto show their mother in a “better light."

Grade:B

Seven (1995)

2012-01-19T08:00:00.000-10:00

Sevenis a dark movie – in subject matter, atmosphere and ambient lighting. It'spretty gruesome and scary stuff. Some of it's pretty disgusting too.

Detective Lt. William Somerset (Morgan Freeman) andhis new partner, Det. David Mills (Brad Pitt), wrack their brains trying tosolve a series of murders that follow a strange pattern. The victims are beingkilled in a manner illustrating the "seven deadly sins" of mankind:wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy and gluttony.

The coroner concludes the first victim died when he"burst" internally from being forged with food. The word"Gluttony" is found scratched on the wall behind the refrigerator.Lt. Somerset actually wants off the case – he's going to retire soon. He's evenhaving his name removed from his office door. But his boss, the Police Captain(R. Lee Ermey), refuses his request.

Mills isn't too happy either; he feels thelieutenant is treating him like a rookie. It isn't until his wife, Tracy(Gwyneth Paltrow), invites Somerset to dinner in their subway-shaking apartmentthat the ice finally thaws and they start clicking.

Dist. Atty. Martin Talbot (Richard Roundtree)appears on television in response to media inquiries about a prominent attorneythat was killed. The word "Greed" was found written at the scene. Itis what it is – a serial killer who apparently is preaching through hisactions.

The captain thinks the killer's been identified.Somerset and Mills don't buy it. Turns out they're right. It's not their man.They find him near death, apparently the "sloth" victim, shackled tohis bed, kept alive with tubes, handless, apparently for a year.

Their seemingly off-the-wall research takes them toa man identified in an under-the-table FBI search as Jonathan (John) Doe. Thechase is on; they're finally getting close. So the killer steps up his scheduleand targets a prostitute ("lust") and her customer. Next, hedisfigures a beautiful young woman to death ("pride").

Then, John Doe turns himself in. But why? Is heplaying with the police? What happened to "wrath" and"envy"? His lawyer, Mark Swarr (Richard Schiff), relays his offer. Hehas two more victims somewhere, and will plead guilty to all charges ifSomerset and Mills go with him to the victims' location.

They do just that. And that takes us to the shockingconclusion.

Andrew Kevin Walker, who wrote the script, plays thefirst dead man in the movie. Charles S. Dutton has an uncredited part as a cop.

Kevin Spacey, who played John Doe, is not mentionedin the opening credits, in order to surprise the audience later. Also, watchthe opening scene carefully; all the building addresses begin with the number7. Finally, seven minutes into the film, the seven murders begin.

EntertainmentWeekly ranked Sevenas the eighth-scariest film of all time. It was a huge success, returning morethan $327 million against its $30-million budget. The film was nominated for aBest Film Editing Oscar but did not win.

Grade:B+

Gaslight (1944)

2012-01-17T08:00:00.000-10:00

A famous opera star, Alice Alquist, has beenstrangled to death in a townhouse at Number 9 Thornton Square inGaslight Era London, and her murderer has never been found.

Her niece, Paula Alquist (Ingrid Bergman), is sentaway to Italy where she studies music with Signore Guardi (Emil Rameau) andfalls in love with his pianist, Gregory Anton (Charles Boyer), whom she's onlyknown for a couple of weeks.

When Gregory expresses his longing to live inLondon, she tells him of the house her aunt left her. Consequently, they marryand move there, where Paula re-encounters Miss Thwaites (Dame May Whitty), abusybody she met on the train to Como the previous month in Italy.

Paula starts losing and misplacing things, much toher chagrin, including a brooch that Gregory gave her, one that belonged to hismother, and his grandmother before that. Soon, their house staff is in place –a slightly hard-of-hearing cook, Elizabeth (Barbara Everest), and a saucy new housemaid,Nancy (Angela Lansbury).

Brian Cameron (Joseph Cotten), a Scotland Yarddetective who once met and admired Paula's aunt, becomes suspicious and isconvinced something strange is going on. He learns that Alice Alquist's jewelsdisappeared after her murder and has a bachelor constable assigned to the townsquare, to add another pair of eyes to the house.

It's only natural that Paula develops a persecutioncomplex and comes to believe that she's become a kleptomaniac. To make mattersworse, Gregory becomes terser, cross, demanding, and accusative of her. Paulais so confused, and thinks she is going mad because she hears noises andfootsteps in the house at night.

Eventually, we learn that Gregory is actuallySergius Bauer, her aunt's murderer, and he's manipulated everything tofacilitate searching for the hidden jewels while ensuring that Paula iscertified as insane and put away.

But never fear, Scotland Yard is here.

Gaslight,which was based on Patrick Hamilton's 1941 Broadway play, Angel Street, was 17-year-old Angela Lansbury's film debut. At thetime, she had a job wrapping packages at Bullocks Department Store in LosAngeles. Her boss didn't want her to quit, so he offered to match her MGMsalary. He had to withdraw the offer when he found out she'd be earning $500 aweek doing the movie, a far cry from the $27 a week she was being paid at thestore.

Hollywood stars Irene Dunn and Hedy Lamarr bothturned down the role of Paula Alquist, which went to Ingrid Bergman.

By the way, Miss Bergman was much taller than herco-star and romantic interest, Charles Boyer. So in their train station kissingscene, he needed to stand on a box. Unfortunately, she kept kicking the boxinadvertently, resulting in the scene being reshot quite a few times.

Ingrid Bergman won the Best Actress Oscar; Gaslight was honored with a second Oscarfor Best Art Direction-Interior Decoration, Black-and-White. It was alsonominated for five more Academy Awards, including Best Actor (Charles Boyer),Best Supporting Actress (Angela Lansbury), and Best Picture.

Gaslightis not a mystery in the purest sense (we know who the killer is pretty early inthe film), but rather, a stylish thriller, an excellent example of why I loveold black and white movies.

Grade:A-

Red Riding Hood (2011)

2012-01-15T08:00:00.001-10:00

Set in the 1300s, RedRiding Hood takes place in Daggerhorn, a village faced with a horriblecurse. Strange things happen there and in the dark forest that spreads beyondthe town. During each full moon, animal sacrifices must left out as an uneasytruce to protect the townspeople from a werewolf.

A young woman, Valerie (Amanda Seyfried), faces an uncertainfuture. Her parents -- Suzette (Virginia Madsen) and Cesaire (Billy Burke) –have arranged for her to marry young smithy Henry Lazar (Max Irons). But shedoesn't want that, she's in love with someone else – a woodcutter named Peter(Shiloh Fernandez).

Their immediate plans are thwarted when the cursed werewolfbreaks the peace and kills her older sister Lucie (Alexandria Maillot, withabout 30 seconds of screen time as a dead body), who it turns out, wanted to bewith Henry. The men folk are angry and set out into the snowy forest to killthe wolf.

Unhappy with her lot in life, Valerie turns to Grandmother(Julie Christie) for solace, comfort and advice. But even the gift of a redriding hood that Grandmother was making for her wedding can't console her.

An expedition led by The Reeve (Michael Hogan) into thewolf's mountain lair results in the death of Henry's father, Adrien (MichaelShanks), tempering somewhat the celebrations of the men, who have killed a wolfand brought its severed head back to the village.

Father Solomon (Gary Oldman), whose wife was once killed bya werewolf, arrives in the village, having been summoned by the village'sFather Auguste (Lukas Haas, looking years older than the juvenile he used toplay). The village's werewolf is still alive, he informs them, for when awerewolf dies, it reverts back to its human form.

The wolf, he says, lives in the village ... among them.

This is borne out when the town's celebration comes to ahorrible end when the werewolf comes crashing through the dancers, biting andripping bodies limb from limb. Although Father Solomon and his soldiers make agallant effort to subdue the beast, it escapes. Determined to avenge his wife,Father Solomon conducts a reign of terror to unmask the werewolf.

Weighing events and circumstances in her mind, Valeriestrongly suspects that Peter is the wolf. But if you are mindful of all theclues being hurtled toward you, you won't be so sure of that. Or of Henry'saccusations either. Maybe it's Henry? Or Peter? Or Father Auguste? Need a clue?Dark brown eyes. But wait, everybody's are dark brown. No help? Too bad.

Oooohh Grandma! What big teeth you have!

Hang around until the end of the credits for a startlingsurprise.

Amanda Seyfried's eyes are the only ones that aren't brownin the film. All the other actors had brown eyes or wore brown contact lenses... including Julie Christie, who is well-known for her blue eyes.

Red Riding Hood'sbox office exceeded $89 million against its $42-million budget.

Grade: B+

Movie Quotations 74

2012-01-15T07:30:00.000-10:00

"I can't believe we're breaking into the school. Whodoes that? Nobody does that. Idiots do that." – Charles Kaznyk (RileyGriffiths), in Super 8

"It's a bloodmoon ... A man bitten is a man cursed." – Father Solomon (Gary Oldman), inRed Riding Hood

"Inarrogance, man knows nothing of what exists. There exists on this earth such aswe dare not imagine; life as certain as our death, life that will prey on us assurely as we prey on this earth." – Lt. Dewey Wilson (Albert Finney,closing voiceover narration), in Wolfen

“For whatis an artist in this world but a servant, a lackey for the rich and powerful?Before we even begin to work, to feed this craving of ours, we must find apatron, a rich man of affairs, or a merchant, or a prince or ... a Pope. Wemust bow, fawn, kiss hands to be able to do the things we must do or die. Weare harlots always peddling beauty at the doorsteps of the mighty.” – RaphaelSanzio (Tomas Millian), in The Agony andthe Ecstasy

"Well,there's no other explanation, mister. Gold itself ain't good for nothing exceptmaking jewelry with and gold teeth." – Howard (Walter Huston), in The Treasure of the Sierra Madre

“I might hate youmore, but I’ll never love you less.” – Rose Narracott (Emily Watson), in War Horse

"You are the butter to my bread, you are the breath tomy life. I love you, darling girl." – Paul Child (Stanley Tucci), in Julie& Julia

"Wanting people to listen, you can't just tapthem on the shoulder anymore. You have to hit them with a sledgehammer, andthen you'll notice you've got their strict attention." – John Doe (KevinSpacey), in Seven

"The first thing they teach women in rapeprevention is never cry for help. Always yell 'Fire!' Nobody answers to''Help." You yell fire, everybody comes running." – Detective Lt.William Somerset (Morgan Freeman), in Seven

"If I were not mad, I could have helped you.Whatever you had done, I could have pitied and protected you. But because I ammad, I hate you. Because I am mad, I have betrayed you. And because I'm mad,I'm rejoicing in my heart, without a shred of pity, without a shred of regret,watching you go with glory in my heart!" – Paula Alquist Anton (IngridBergman), in Gaslight

The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)

2012-01-13T08:00:00.000-10:00

The Treasure of theSierra Madre is based on B. Travens' 1927 novel of the same name.

In 1925, Fred C. Dobbs (Humphrey Bogart) and Bob Curtin (TimHolt) are a couple of Americans down on their luck in Tampico, Mexico. Fred, infact, is forced to panhandle so he can eat.

They get a job with a guy named Pat McCormick (MartinMacLane) who hires them for a few weeks, then runs off without paying them.

They meet an old prospector, Howard (Walter Huston), andteam up with him to hunt for a mother lode. But first, they have to fight theirway through bandits, weather norther winds, chop their way through chokingvegetation, get disappointed by fool's gold, and walk their shoe soles off toget where they're going.

But get there they do, and find it, they do. Gold! And lotsof it. Which creates a bit of a problem. Gold changes people, brings out theirinherent greed. Suspicion. Temptation. Justifications. Paranoia. Dobbs tipsover the edge, accusing Howard and Curtin of plotting against him to take hisshare.

While in a local town to buy supplies, Curtain bumps into aninquisitive, pushy American stranger, James Cody (Bruce Bennett), who followshim to the camp. A shrewd negotiator, he's a constant irritant to Dobbs at first,then to the others. But before they can do anything about it, they're attackedby banditos posing as federales (government soldiers).

Gunfight! Cody is killed, relieving them of the problem ofwhat to do with him.

The mine peters out and they leave with their haul – golddust worth in the vicinity of $105,000. Some local villagers find them and askHoward to help one of their little boys who is ill. While he is gone attendinga thank-you celebration, the other two continue on to Durango, holding onto hisshare for safekeeping. They argue, and Curtin ends up being shot.

What it all boils down to is that Dobbs not only loses hishead over the gold, he ... loses his head. And the gold? After all, it'snothing but dust in the wind.

There are two noteworthy uncredited cameos: Robert Blake isa young boy selling lottery tickets, and Ann Sheridan appears briefly as astreetwalker.

This is the film that introduced the oft-used and variablephrase about not needing no stinkin' badges (or whatever).

The Treasure of theSierra Madre was nominated for four Academy Awards, including Best Picture.Walter Huston won the remaining three: Best Supporting Actor, Best Director,and Best Writing, Screenplay. However, the Walter who won the acting award wasthe director/writer's father (the first-ever father-son win).

The film is preserved in the U.S. Library of Congress'National Film Registry.

Grade: A-

Julie & Julia (2011)

2012-01-11T08:00:00.000-10:00

Julie & Juliais based on Julia Child's 2006 memoir, MyLife In France, and Julie Powell's 2005 book, Julie and Julia: 365 Days, 524 Recipes, 1 Tiny Apartment Kitchen.

The movie opens in 1949 France when Julia Child (MerylStreep) and her husband, Paul (Stanley Tucci), move into their new home – an apartmentin Paris, where Paul has been assigned to the American Embassy. The storyimmediately shifts to 2002 New York, where Julie Powell (Amy Adams) and herhusband, Eric (Chris Messina), move into theirnew home – an apartment in Queens, above a pizzeria.

Julie has a job she hates – interacting with, and takingcomplaints from families of 9/11 survivors. Julia is bored and wants to dosomething while in France. She doesn't want to go back to government work (shehad been a secretary in the Office of Strategic Services).

So, born out of boredom and an urge to do something withtheir lives, they take on new projects. Julie adores Julia Child and herculinary skills, so she decides that, over the course of a year, she will cookevery recipe in Julia’s 1961 book, Masteringthe Art of French Cooking. The project will involve 524 recipes in 365days.

For her own edification and as a way of keeping her focusedand on track, Julie starts a blog chronicling her progress. She calls it “TheJulie/Julia Project.”

Julia decides to take up French cooking. She wants to buy anEnglish-language French cookbook, but can't find any. So, as she wantssomething to do, she writes one, collaborating with her friends, Simone"Simca" Beck (Linda Emond) and Louisette Bertholle (Helen Carey). Theproject takes a long, long while, but eventually results in Mastering the Art of French Cooking.

Julie & Juliajumps back and forth between stories, alternating between Julia in France andJulie in New York. It’s 1940s Paris vis-à-visearly 21^st Century New York. Their experiences are so alike in somany ways, two parallel lives in two different time zones, in two differenteras. However, their similar experiences sometimes lead to contrasting results.

Julie poaches and eats the first egg of her life, and sheloves it. The irascible Julia can't stand the beginner's cooking class so sheenrolls in the professional class at Le Cordon Bleu. After a slow start, sherises to the top like an elegant cream.

Julia dives right into chopping up a live lobster. Julie isterrified of killing and dismembering her first live lobster, apologizing to itas she dumped it into boiling water. Julie's blog becomes the third-mostpopular on Salon.com. Julia’s book is a long-time developing as she has toendure rejection and attempts to change what she and her co-authors believe in.

Cue the disasters. Julie has a couple of meltdowns overaspic and a stuffed chicken, and is disheartened when a famous food author has to cancel out on her boeuf bourguignon dinner. Julia fails the Cordon Bleu graduation test.

The New York Timesruns an interview with Julie, and she becomes famous, plied with publishing offers. Butsurviving marital difficulties caused by her project, she also experiences abit of heartbreak when Julia Child disses the blog.

Julie & Julia is a very touching movie. Amy Adams wasendearing, and Meryl Streep was her usual wonderful self with another marvelousperformance. However, throughout the movie, although I enjoyed watching MerylStreep, I couldn’t help thinking that Paul Child was a saint. I mean, I couldn’tstand living with someone who sounded and acted like Julia Child … day afterday after day.

Jane Lynch (Glee!)has a brief but humorous appearance as Dorothy McWilliams Cousins, Julia'ssister; Mary Lynn Radjskub (24 Hours),appears as Julie's best friend, Sara. Mary Kay Place voices Julie's mother, andFrances Sternhagen appears as Irma Rombauer, who wrote The Joy of Cooking.

Playing a chef is dangerous for an actress' figure; MerylStreep gained 15 pounds. She was nominated for the Best Actress Oscar. Producedon a budget of $40 million, Julie & Julia grossed nearly $130 millionduring its domestic and international run.

Grade: B+

The Agony and the Ecstasy (1965)

2012-01-09T08:00:00.001-10:00

Based on Irving Stone’s 1961 historical novel thatchronicled the life of Rennaisance sculptor and artist Michelangelo, The Agony and the Ecstasy examines aseminal period in the artist’s life and his battle of wits with Pope Julius II,the “warrior pope.”

The Agony and theEcstasy is a story of two relationships: That of an artist and his work,and that of the artist and his patron.

Michelangelo Buonarroti(Charlton Heston) of Florence, already famous for his sculptures of David, thePieta, and Moses, is commissioned by Pope Julius II (Rex Harrison) to“decorate” the ceiling of the Vatican’s Sistine Chapel, named after its builder– Pope Julius’ uncle, Pope Sixus. The pay? A mere 2,000 ducats, with deductionsmade for Michelangelo’s housing, of course.

From the start, Michelangelo butts heads with the Pope’schief architect, Bramante (Harry Andrews). It doesn’t help that the Vatican’scoffers are bleeding out as it finances the Pope’s frequent Holy wars as hestrives to unite Italy under one church.

Michelangelo has no choice but to accept the commission, andto argue constantly for payment. The work begins, and soon the images of theApostles begin to appear on the chapel’s side panels. But he’s not happy withhis work, and one night, heeding the observation of the local tavern owner thatif the wine is sour, it should be destroyed, he lays waste to his work anddisappears.

During his self-imposed exile, staying ahead of the angryJulius’ soldiers, he receives his needed inspiration while gazing upon a sunsetand seeing in his mind’s eye thenow-famous image of God creating Man, reaching out to touch fingers with Adam.

Returning to work after receiving the forgiveness andblessing of Julius, Michelangelo pours his heart and soul into his work,painting around the clock, day and night, night and day, until he collapsesfrom malnutrition and exhaustion. If not for Contessina “Tessina” de’Medici(Diane Cilento), the sister of his Florentine sponsor, who nurses him back tohelp and provides inspiration when it is much needed, he would have walked awayfrom the project.

On and on the work goes. On and on and on, much to Julius’consternation and frustration. Over and over again, we hear this conversation:“When will you make an end?” “When I am finished!” (In fact, it was four yearsbefore Michelangelo stopped working on the frescos, satisfied that he hadfinished his masterpiece).

The relationship between artist and Pope often teeteredprecariously on the edge. In fact, at one point, Michelangelo was ready toleave the project, having been struck by Julius with a stick. If not for RafaelSanzio of Urbino (Tomas Millian), who was supposed to be his successor butdeclared he could not complete the work because he admired Michelangelo and wasnot capable of finishing the ceiling, he would have left.

But the ceiling is completed. And there is glory … glorythat soothes the agony of the years.

I remember seeing this movie when it came out while I was incollege, and reacting with awe. After having read the Readers’ Digest condensedversion when I was in high school, the movie did justice to the grandeur of theRenaissance architecture and art work. I was mightily impressed with RexHarrison’s portrayal of the impatient Pope with an inner mission in his life.

The plaster that drips onto Michelangelo’s face in the moviewas actually chocolate pudding. Because Michelangelo had a broken nose,Charlton Heston had a steel rod inserted in his nose to make it appear asthough HIS nose had been broken. Heand Rex Harrison didn’t get along well during production, and years later, whenthey made Crossed Swords, Harrisonpurposely avoided contact with Heston.

Burt Lancaster was originally chosen to play Michelangelo,and Laurence Olivier was the first choice to play Pope Julius II. However, theywere unavailable when the movie was finally filmed.

The movie actually tanked. Filmed at an estimated cost of$10 million, it had a total box office of $6 million worldwide, which included$4 million in the United States.

The Agony and theEcstasy was nominated for five Academy Awards, mostly in the technicalcategories, but won none.

Grade: A

War Horse (2011)

2012-01-07T08:00:00.000-10:00

One of the stories I remember being captivated by when I wasa kid was Anna Sewell’s 1877 novel, BlackBeauty. Since then, I’ve had a soft spot in my heart for movies abouthorses. I mean, how can anybody not love horses? They are among the mostbeautiful of animals on this earth.

War Horse haselements of Black Beauty in its storyline. A horse is separated from its young owner, then experiences hardship through its life. It also has its roots in a book. The movie is based on a children’s book – War Horse, written by Michael Morpurgoin 1982 – and a 2007 stage play of the same name.

Separated from its mother in an auction, a young colt ispurchased by a farmer – Ted Narracott (Peter Mullan) – not because he reallywants the horse, but because he wants to stick it to his landlord, from whom he’sleased his small plot of land. But that’s just fine with his son, Albert (JeremyIrvine), who quickly names the colt Joey and proceeds to establish a bond withhim.

His mother, Rose (Emily Watson), isn’t quite as happy. She’swilling to give him the benefit of the doubt that he will turn Joey into a plowhorse, despite the fact that he’s a thoroughbred and not a work horse. That wasTed’s folly – he bought a race horse instead of a work horse.

Just when everything’s going well, thanks to a fortunaterainfall, things begin to go awry. England joins the war against Germany, andWorld War I is under way. The turnip crop is near harvest, but a rainstorm (therain giveth and the rain taketh away) ruins the crop, forcing Dad to sell Joeyto the Army as a cavalry war horse. Capt. Nicholls (Tom Hiddleston) promises Albertthat he’ll take care of Joey and if he can, return him when the war is over.

But of course, in their first battle charge, Capt. Nichollsand most of his men are slaughtered by the Germans. Joey and his bondedstallion friend, Topthorn, survive the battle and are used as ambulance horsesby the Germans, cared for by two brothers, Gunther and Michael (David Kross andRainer Bock) who desert, fleeing on Joey and Topthorn. Unfortunately, they arefound and executed.

The horses, however, are found in a windmill where they wereleft, and become the property of an old French man (Niels Arestrup) and hisgranddaughter, Emile (Celine Buckens). The horses are taken from them byGermans and put to work hauling heavy cannon.

In the meantime, Albert has somehow talked his way into theArmy, despite being underage, and bravely fights in the trenches with hisfriend, Andrew Easton (Mike Milne) by his side. Both are injured in a gasattack. They don’t know it, but Joey is near. The war horse is frightened, butsomehow survives bombs, gunfire and barbed wire.

Will Albert and Joey be reunited? And what of Emilie and hergrandfather? You’ll have to allow your heart to fly free and experience theemotions as I did, at the appropriate moments.

War Horse is awonderful movie with elegant cinematography, breath-taking battle scenes,excellent acting, and beautiful horses. Really.

Directed by Steven Spielberg, War Horse is a little long, running two hours and 26 minutes, butyou know what? When it ends, you’re left looking at your watch and wonderingwhere the time went.

Grade: A

Wolfen (1981)

2012-01-05T08:00:00.000-10:00

Wolfen is based on a 1978 novel, The Wolfen, by Whitley Strieber.

ChristopherVan der Veer (Max Brown) a rich and powerful New York real estate developer, isbrutally attacked and ravaged during a late-night visit to Battery Park withhis beautiful wife, Pauline, and their purebred Borzoi Russian Wolfhound. Hisbrain is taken. A ritualistic killing, perhaps? International terrorism,perhaps?

NewYork Police Lt. Dewey Wilson (Albert Finney) is assigned by his boss, Warren(Dick O'Neill), to the case with criminal psychologist Rebecca Neff (DianeVenora).

Coroner"Whit" Wittington (Gregory Hines) tells Dewey that Van der Veer waskilled (slashed) with a hard, sharp weapon, but absolutely no traces of metal –not even microscopic – were revealed in x-rays of the victim. What does turnup, however, is hair. From Pauline Van der Veer's slashed kidney and from a newvictim, a derelict in the south Bronx. And it isn't human hair.

Astheir investigative wanderings continue, we get to watch a boa constrictorsneak up on a white lab rat, catch it and munch it down. But we also find outfrom Ferguson (Tom Noonan), a zoologist, that the hair found on/in the slainbodies is definitely canis lupus(wolf). He also mentions the tie between Indians and wolves.

Dewey'sfocus turns to the Native American Movement and activist Eddie Holt (EdwardJames Olmos), who works on "high steel" bridge construction. And inorder to talk to him right away, Dewey has to walk up the bridge's suspension.Major pucker factor, for sure, for sure.

Theconversation with Eddie sends us to a shape-shifting scene designed to lead usdown a merry werewolf red herring path.

Derekstarts getting a little paranoid, and Rebecca can't shake the feeling thatshe's being stalked. So it's inevitable that they find comfort in each other.Whit starts taking an active in-field role in the investigation andunfortunately pays the price.

Itturns out that the killers are Wolfen spirits that kill to protect theirhunting grounds – the slums, where now, old buildings are being razed,demolished as urban renewal marches on. The homeless, the drunks, the druggies,the diseased – the dregs of the world who crash and live there – are Wolfenfood. And that food supply is being threatened.

Guesswhat. The movie ends, but they're still there.

Grade: B

Night at the Museum (2006)

2012-01-03T08:00:00.000-10:00

Night at the Museumis based on Milan Trenc's 1993 book, TheNight at the Museum.

Larry Daley (Ben Stiller) is a bit of a loser. He just can'tseem to catch a break with his business schemes. It doesn't help that his ex,Erica (Kim Raver), is getting along fine without him, or that his son, NickyDaley (Jake Cherry), is looking up to his mother's fiancé, Don (Paul Rudd).

He desperately needs a job so he doesn't have to move tocheaper digs outside the city, The employment agency sends him to the New YorkMuseum of Natural History, which is looking for a night watchman, but so farhas turned down every applicant the agency's sent their way.

He passes the job interview with the three night watchmen – Cecil Fredericks (Dick Van Dyke), Gus (Mickey Rooney) and 9Reginald (BillCobbs) – who are being downsized and replaced by one watchman. At first, itseems the job has only one drawback – Dr. McPhee (Ricky Gervais), Larry's boss,is a highly excitable, highly conservative museum director who sometimes hastrouble finishing a sentence before launching into the next.

Then, he spends his first night on the job. That's when hemeets:

· A playful, thirsty Tyrannosaurus skeleton thatloves to play fetch

· Fire-seeking cavemen and pyramid-building Mayans

· A talking, insulting Easter Island head (voicedby Brad Garrett)

· Attila the Hun (Patrick Gallagher) and his hordeof murderous Huns

· Meredith Lewis (Martin Christopher), WilliamClark (Martin Sims), and Sacajawea (Mizuo Peck)

· A wandering stuffed moose, birds, lions,mastodon, elephant and zebras

· A miniature western railroad-building dioramacrew headed by cowboy Jedediah (Owen Wilson, uncredited), out to wreak revenge

· A Roman legion commanded by Octavius (SteveCoogan), that lays siege upon him

· Dexter, a mischievous slap-happy, kleptomaniac,accurate-peeing capuchin monkey

It's a good thing Cecil left him an instruction book.

Larry is rescued from certain capture and bodily harm byTheodore Roosevelt (Robin Williams), who explains that the Tablet of Ahkmenrah,brought to America in 1952, is responsible for the museum denizens coming tolife each night. Pres. Roosevelt explains that anyone caught outside the museumwhen the sun rises will turn to dust.

Morning comes, and he'd like to quit, but it's complicated.His son's respect, his self-esteem ... y'know. Besides, he's becoming attractedto Rebecca Hutman (Carla Gugino), a museum docent who's working on adissertation about Sacajawea. It also seems that Roosevelt is attracted toSacajawea, and vice- versa. The problem is that she's trapped behind glass andnobody can communicate with her.

Although he's almost fired, Larry hangs on for Nicky's sake.Unfortunately, when he takes his son to work with him, nothing happens. Itseems the former watchman trio want the tablet to set themselves up for therest of their lives and have stolen it. Yikes!

But it's Ahkmenrah (Rami Malek) to the rescue! Larry handlesthe explosive situation and makes his son proud of him, bringing the movie to asuccessful conclusion.

Night at the Museumis one of my favorite movies. The casting was right on, the script wasinspired, and the production values were top notch. When it came time to laugh,I couldn't control myself.

Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson only worked together for oneday. When Stiller was supposed to be interacting with Wilson, he actually wastalking to a stand-in – a toothpick. Three months later, Wilson came in andfilmed his scenes. Why wasn't Wilson credited? His part was supposed to be acameo, but when test audiences reacted favorably to his scenes, his part wasexpanded, although he remained uncredited.

And, you probably already knew this, but Debbie, the womanin the employment office, is Anne Meara, Ben Stiller's real-life mother.

The American Museum of Natural History benefited heavilyfrom the publicity gained from the film. The holiday season following theDecember opening saw the museum's attendance increase by 20%.

Night at the Museumwas followed up in 2009 with a sequel, Nightat the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian.

Grade: A+

Super 8 (2011)

2012-01-01T08:00:00.000-10:00

It’s the summer of 1979 in Lillian, Ohio,and the small town pauses in the wake of an industrial accident.

Flash forward four months. Joe and his friend, the chubby CharlesKaznyk (Riley Griffiths), try to convince a cute classmate, Alice"Allie" Dainard (Elle Fanning), to play a leading role in a movieCharles is making about zombies. To their delight, she agrees, joining theboys’ friends – Cary (Ryan Lee), a fireworks fiend and budding pyromaniac; Preston(Zach Mills) and Martin (Gabriel Basso), who’s to play the lead character.

The kids sneak out to the town’s train depot to make theirmovie and during a classic “Please don’t go, I love you” scene, witness a spectaculartrain crash. As the kids flee for their lives, Charlie drops his camera, whichkeeps on rolling. As we find out later, something escapes from one of theboxcars and a carful of Rubic cube-like things (sort of like puffed rice cerealcubes) spill out of another.

Dr. Thomas Woodward (Glynn Turman), the school’s biologyteacher, caused the accident with his car, turning onto the tracks and headinginto the approaching train. When the kids reach him, he issues a crypticwarning to keep quiet or they and their parents ... will die.

Almost immediately, Air Force Col. Nelec (Noah Emmerich) andtroops arrive and find film boxes that they assume is Woodward’s. However, theyspot the kids running away and suspect perhaps that the kids might have film ofthe event. And they do, for Charles has retrieved his camera.

Strange things begin happening in town. Packs of dogs areseen racing somewhere. Heavy stuff begins moving on its own. Car parts go missing.Pets go missing, only to be found later in surrounding counties. Power flickersoff and on. Army trucks move into town and Cold War hysteria reigns.

Joe’s father, deputy Jack (Kyle Chandler) finds himself incharge of law and order after the sheriff disappears, and is besieged bycitizens demanding to know what's going on.

The kids have more information than anyone else, it seems,save for Dr. Woodward and Col. Nelec. And what they know begins to get to fosternot a little paranoia in them.

Joe and Allie are forbidden by their fathers to see orassociate with each other. Joe’s dad dislikes Allie’s dad and in a way blameshim for his wife, Elizabeth’s (Caitriona Balfe), death. Allie’s dad, Louis (RonEldard), was supposed to go to work on the day Elizabeth died, but she took hisplace and ended up being at the wrong place at the wrong time.

And then, things really change. Allie is ... taken. Charlesgets his processed film back and they see what looks like a huge spidercreeping out of the crashed boxcar. Walls of fire rage toward town and achemical plant, causing a frantic evacuation.

The posse heads out to rescue Allie. First, they break intoDr. Woodward's van, grab what's in it, break into school and do their research.They (and we, the audience) finally learn why the Air Force is so excited aboutwhat's going on.

Super 8 is excitingvery entertaining – sort of The Gooniesmeets ET: The Extra-Terrestrial,meets Cloverfield, meets Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Thisfirst collaboration of Lost and Cloverfield producer J.J. Abrams andStephen Spielberg has resulted in a wonderful marriage of talent.

The creature payoff (yes, there is an alien creature) isworth all the teasing and waiting.

Elle Fanning's big sister, Dakota, appears in a cameo as anassistant at the town hall meeting. One hour, eight minutes and 15 seconds intothe film, producer/director/screen writer Abrams can be seen as a soldierexiting a car.

The fictional town of Lillian was named after Abrams'grandmother. "Kelvin Gasoline Station" on the town's outskirts wasnamed after his grandfather. A tavern named "James Locke" in thefinal scene before the ending credits is an homage to two characters madefamous in Abrams' highly successful television series, Lost (James "Sawyer" Ford and John Locke).

Produced on a budget of $50 million, Super 8 enjoyed a tremendous box office in excess of $260 million.

Grade: A-

Movie Quotations 73

2012-01-01T07:30:00.000-10:00

"I probablycould have saved her if I'd have moved sooner. But I thought it was justanother nightmare, like the one I had the night before. There was ... there wasthis guy; he had knives for fingers." – Rod Lane (Jsu Garcia, credited asNick Corri), in A Nightmare on Elm Street

"I just did something involuntary ... and messy." –Sid the giant ground sloth (voiced by John Leguizamo), in Ice Age: The Meltdown

"I don't think her tree goes all the way to the topbranch." – Manny the wooly mammoth (voiced by Ray Romano), in Ice Age: The Meltdown

"Iunderstand why he's doing what he's doing. If I had to endure what he's endured– if I was eight years old and saw my father gunned down in front of my family... I'd be carrying a gun too, and I wouldn't be wearing a badge." – TomO'Meara (Harrison Ford), in The Devil'sOwn

"I can gothrough this door alone. You'll never see me or the people chasing us again, oryou can come with me, and I don't know what's on the other side, but you'd benext to me and that's all I've wanted since the minute I met you." – DavidNorris (Matt Damon), in The AdjustmentBureau

“How many timeshave we been here before, Scully? Right here. So close to the truth and nowwith what we've seen and what we know to be right back at the beginning withnothing.” – FBI Agent Fox Mulder (David Duchovney), in The X-Files

"Mostmarried men have very foggy memories of their single days, and they begin tobelieve that, if not for you, they could actually be with these singlewomen." – Dr. Lucy (Joy Behar), in HallPass

"Oh,knowledge exploring is oh so lyrical, when you think thoughts that areempirical." – Mr. Spotted Eagle Ray (voiced by Bob Peterson), in Finding Nemo

"Rememberwhat my grandmother used to say: 'All sorrows are less with bread.'" –Grandmother (Julie Christie), in RedRiding Hood

“Civilwar dudes! You guys are brothers, for God's sake. You gotta stop fighting!North wins, Slavery is bad. Sorry! Don't want to burst your bubble, but South,you guys get Allman Brothers ... and ... NASCAR. So just chill!" – Larry Daley(Ben Stiller), in Night at the Museum

Finding Nemo (2003)

2011-12-31T08:00:00.000-10:00

Marlinand Coral (voiced by Albert Brooks and Elizabeth Perkins), two clownfish livingin Australia's Great Barrier Reef, are eagerly awaiting the birth of their400-egg brood when they are attacked by a nasty barracuda. When the sandsettles, Marlin is left with just one egg, which he names Nemo (AlexanderGould).

Nemogrows up to be a headstrong young fish who doesn't like his father'sover-protective nature, and because of his inquisitiveness is captured, endingup in a dentist's office in Sydney, Australia.

Thepanicked Marlin heads off to find his son, accompanied by Dory (EllenDeGeneres), a Pacific Regal Blue Tang with a fast mouth and one heck of a short-termmemory loss problem.

Beforethey can get started, they are taken to a sort of AA gathering of sharks tryingto break the fish-eating habit and win the hearts of three dangerous sharks:Bruce (Barry Humphries), a Great White; Anchor (Eric Bana), a Hammerhead; andChum (Bruce Spence), a Mako.

Meanwhile,Nemo finds himself in the dentist Dr. Philip Sherman's (Bill Hunter) aquarium,which also houses Gil (Willem Dafoe), a Moorish Idol; Bloat (Brad Garrett), aPufferfish; Peach (Allison Janney), a Starfish; Gurgle (Austin Pendleton), aRoyal Gramma; Bubbles (Stephen Root), a Yellow Tang; Jacques (Joe Ranft), aPacific Cleaner Shrimp; and Deb (Vicki Lewis) also known as her reflection,Flow, a Damselfish.

Nemolearns that Dr. Sherman's niece, Darla (LuLu Ebeling), usually mistreats sea lifegiven to her as presents. The result? A ride on "The PorcelainExpress" (i.e., flushed down thetoilet). Nemo is inducted into “tankhood” and is dubbed "Shark Bait."Gil comes up with a cockamamy plan for all of them to escape before Darla comesfor her checkup.

Withthe help of a school of moonfish (John Ratzenberger) and a surfer-boy-talkingsea turtle named Crush (Andrew Stanton), Marlin and Dory slowly make their wayto Sydney Harbor and finally find Nemo when Marlin's story reaches Nigel(Geoffrey Rush), an Australian Pelican that often visits the dentist's aquariumand has met Nemo.

FindingNemo enjoyed the highest-grossing opening weekend for an animated feature –more than $70 million, on its way to a total box office that approached $870million, making it (at the time) the highest-grossing animated film of alltime.

Andno wonder. Finding Nemo is beautifully animated and colored, the dialogue isentertaining, mesmerizing and witty, and Ellen DeGeneris does wonderful jobdoing the voice-over for Dory. The role was specifically written just for her.

FindingNemo actually helped increase tourism in Sydney during the summer and autumn of2003. It's reported that many of the tourists said they wanted to swim thewaters of Eastern Australia so they could find Nemo.

Grade:A

Hall Pass (2011)

2011-12-30T08:00:00.000-10:00

Bestfriends Rick Mills (Owen Wilson) and Fred Searing (Jason Sedeikis) are given a"hall pass" by their wives – Maggie (Jenny Fischer) and Grace(Christina Applegate), respectively – to have sex with other women for one week,after the wives talk to their psychologist friend, Dr. Lucy (Joy Behar).

Sothere you go. They have a week off from marriage. At first, Rick's not so sure,while Fred thinks it's the chance of a lifetime. By the way, the way Fred getshis is priceless.

Duringthe first couple of days, they are joined by their friends, Gary Putney(Stephen Merchant), Flats (J.B. Smoove), and Hog Head (Larry Joe Campbell).

Thedays are each marked with title cards heralded with the famous "Law andOrder" deep chimes.

Day1 is a bust; they overeat to the point of gluttony. Day 2's stupid; they gethigh on marijuana snacks at the golf course and wreak havoc. On Day 3, thegirls rationalize that since their husbands have a hall pass, they technicallyaren't married. The boys hit a bar and try out silly pickup lines that Fredfound online.

Day4 is spent sleeping off Day 3's adventure in the bar. On Day 5, Rick approachesLeigh (Nicky Whelan), an attractive Australian coffee bar waitress who becomesinterested in him when he puts down her arrogant co-worker. He falls asleep ina hit spa and ends up seeing a couple of naked penises.

Day6 arrives and the boys wake up knowing nothing's happened. Then their friend,Coakley (Richard Jenkins), arrives to show them the ropes at a nightclub called"Enter the Dragon." Things get a bit hectic and slightly complicatedafter that. Meanwhile, the wives face their own temptations.

Thehall pass doesn't get to the 7th day. Because things turn out ... okay.

Hall Pass isn't the best comedy I'veever seen, but it certainly is far from the worst. And, it's the mostrestrained acting I've ever seen from Owen Wilson.

Hint:don't leave until after the credits.

Grade:B-

Quarantine 2: Terminal (2011)

2011-12-29T08:00:00.000-10:00

Quarantine 2: Terminal is a sequel to the 2008 horror film, Quarantine, and takes place during aninterrupted flight between Los Angeles and Nashville.

The story picks upas the situation in a quarantined Los Angeles apartment building is beingresolved. The half-empty Trans Sky Air Flight 318 (a cigar plane!) from LosAngeles to Nashville is loading up, and flight attendants Jenny (MercedesMasöhn) and Paula (Bre Blair) are busy greeting passengers and getting themcomfortably seated.

In addition to theflight attendants, the flight crew includes Captain Forrest (John Curran) and Co-PilotWillsy (Andrew Benator) in the cockpit.

The passenger listincludes:

· Henry(Josh Cooke), a science teacher with a cage of hamsters, which won’t fit in theoverhead compartment and has to be checked into the hold.

· George(Mattie Liptak), an unaccompanied 13-year-old boy experienced in flying alone.

· ShilahWashington (Noree Victoria), a U.S. Army medic.

· Hvorst(Tyler Kunkle) and Nicca (Erin Smith), a romantic German tourist couple.

· Nial(Phillip DeVona) and Susan Britz (Julie Gribble), a couple with child on theway.

· LouiseTreadwell (Sandra Ellis Lafferty), an elderly lady traveling with a cat.

· Sylvester(Judd Lormand) and Bev Stevens (Lynn Cole), an elderly couple.

· RalphBundt (George Back), a heavy-set golfer.

· Preston(Lamar Stewart), an impatient, insistent businessman.

Several warningsigns that seem especially ominous if you’ve seen Quarantine include co-pilot Willsy with a fit of sneezing, and oneof Henry’s hamsters biting Ralph before being taken below.

Well into theflight, Ralph begins feeling sick and barfs on Jenny. Mrs. Treadwell’s cat startsmunching on the barf just as Ralph begins foaming at the mouth. Then, all hellbreaks loose as Ralph tries to storm the cockpit, demanding that he be let offthe plane.

When the pilotadvises the FAA about the situation, he is ordered to ground the plane … NOW.When they land and are taxiing on the tarmac, they are told to hold theirposition and not unload. Capt. Forrest and Willsy trap Ralph in one of thetoilets and tell Jenny and Paula to evacuate the plane.

The plane isemptied, but nobody can get out of the locked gateway. They encounter a baggagehandler, Ed (Ignacio Serricchio), who takes them through the back way. The terminal,he finds out, is in lockdown. They can hear sirens and helicopters, and it’sobvious that they have been put under quarantine.

Before long, itbecomes apparent that the pilot, copilot, and hamsters in the hold are infected.In fact, the hamsters aren’t hamsters – they are actually albino laboratorytest rats, they are the main vector of the disease. And what a horrible diseaseit is. Infected animals and people become rabid and develop an urge to munch onother people.

Eventually, Jenny isonly crew member functioning, and is forced to take control.

When a CDC(Centers for Disease Control) unit shows up, it's slaughter-time by the infectedcrew, passengers, and those CDC troops that have been bitten. We learn thatthey are not really CDC, but CBDT (Chemical Biological Domestic Terrorism)troops, from Homeland Security.

It turns out oneof the passengers is a member of a terrorist cell that had a lab in theinfected apartment building. And they were testing an antidote to a virus, butthe cure turned out to be worse than the disease. The rest of the movie isdevoted to run and fight, chase and bite, depending on your point of view.

Guess where theydiverted and landed.

Grade: B+

The X-Files (1998)

2011-12-28T08:00:00.000-10:00

The X-Files isbased on the 1993-2002 Fox television network science fiction series of thesame name. After seeing this movie, I went out and bought the DVD sets of allnine seasons of the television series.

In concordance with the X-Files television chronology, thefilm takes place between the fifth-season finale (“The End”) and thesixth-season premiere (“The Beginning”). Why is that? Because series creatorChris Carter, who also was principal writer for The X-Files movie, had originally intended to end the series afterthe fifth season.

After the X-Files are closed, FBI agents Fox Mulder (DavidDuchovny) and Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) have been assigned other tasks.When Special Agent in Charge Darius Michaud (Terry O’Quinn) is blown up when hefails to defuse a bomb in a Dallas building, the agency reviews their actions.

Mulder encounters Dr. Alvin Kurtzweil (Martin Landau), whobelieves that five other people (including a young boy) who died in the Dallasexplosion were actually dead before, and that their bodies were left in thebuilding to cover up something. They had been in the provisional medicalquarantine section of the Federal Emergency Management Agency. Agent Michaud,Dr. Kurtzweil implies, was a part of a cover-up.

The boy had fallen down a hole and his eyes had turnedblack. Dr. Ben Broschweig (Jeffrey DeMunn), the first government official onthe scene, brings in the Cigarette-Smoking Man (William B. Davis).

Scully checks out some fossils found in the FEMA office thatcame from the accident scene. She finds a peculiar virus that matches one foundon one of the dead bodies. Not just any known deadly virus ... an alien virus.

Their search for clues takes them to a strange cornfieldwith strange structures, where they are attacked by hordes of honeybees and apair of helicopters. What's going on?

Everything is explained to Mulder, giving him a chance tothwart an alien invasion. He needs to find Scully, who is suffering a violentbee-sting reaction after a cornfield bee hitches a ride under her collar. Hissearch leads him to Antarctica, where he makes a mind-boggling discovery.

Mitch Pileggi reprises his role as FBI Assistant DirectorWalter Skinner, as does John Neville as the well-manicured man. Blythe Dannerplays Scully's review committee chair Janna Cassidy.

The cornfield-chase scene is an homage to the “crop-duster”scene in the Hitchcock thriller, North byNorthwest. Martin Landau also appeared in that movie.

The movie's revenue of $186 million almost tripled its$66-million budget. Ten years later, a sequel (The X-Files: I Want to Believe) was released.

Grade: A

The Pirates of Penzance (1983)

2011-12-27T08:00:00.000-10:00

Adapted from Sir William S. Gilbert and Sir ArthurSullivan's 1879 comic opera of the same name, The Pirates of Penzance was basically a reprise of Joseph Papp's1980 Broadway musical, Pirates.

A pirate ship – "The Tarantula" – captained by ThePirate King (Kevin Kline) arrives at Penzance Bay, Cornwall, in England. In apirate ritual, Frederick (Rex Smith) is thrown overboard on the day he becomes21 and is freed from his indentureship to become a full-fledged pirate.

But Frederick refuses. See, his nursery maid, Ruth (AngelaLansbury), had mistakenly set him up to be a pirate instead of a pilot. Consequently,he abhors piracy, and when he vows to take his former comrads down, he and Ruthare cast ashore.

Frederick encounters and falls in love with Mabel (LindaRonstadt) one of Maj. Gen. Stanley's (George Rose) eight beautiful daughters,but the pirates return and capture the girls, releasing them when the generalplays his "I am an orphan" card, knowing many of the pirates also areorphans. It works, for pirates won't attack a fellow orphan.

To help him get rid of the pirates, Frederick hires thelocal police an operatic version of the Keystone Kops – cowardly, clumsy andcomical – who are led by the rubber-jointed and fearful Sergeant (Tony Azito).

Unfortunately, due to a consistent occurrence in thecalendar, Frederick learns that his indenture is still in effect. See, he isbound until his 21st birthday, but he was born on ... well, you either know orcan figure it out, right?

The songs are mightily manly and lusty, or femininely frillyand romantic. My favorites:

· I am thevery model of a modern Major-General (the Major-General and chorus) –"I understand equations, both simple and quadratical, about binomialtheorem, I'm teeming with a lot o' news – with many cheerful facts about thesquare of the hypotenuse."

· When thefoeman bares his steel (Mabel, the Sergeant, and the chorus of policemenand the girls) – "We go! We go! Tarantarah, tarantarah!"

· When youhad left our pirate fold (A paradox) (Ruth, Frederic, and the Pirate King) –"it doesn't matter, matter, matter, matter, matter, matter, MATTER!"

· Withcat-like tread, upon our prey we steal (Chorus of pirates and police, sungto the tune of "Hail, hail, the gang's all here") – "Come,friends who plough the sea! Truce to navigation, take another station! Let'svary piracy, With a little burglary!"

Quite a few lines of dialogue and song lyrics were changedfor the movie, else they prove incomprehensible to American audiences. There isa running gag involving the words "orphan" and "often,"which are often (not orphan) confused with each other.

The dialogue in opera is often (not orphan) difficult tounderstand and follow; therefore, I recommend that should you watch this onDVD, you turn on the subtitles. It'll help you understand the train of dialogueand lyrics better.

The Pirates ofPenzance was a box office flop, garnering revenues of less than $700,000against its budget of $16 million, the result of a theater owners' boycott. Thestudio – Universal Studios – had released it simultaneously to a Los Angelessubscription service.

John Travolta lost out to Kevin Kline for the role of ThePirate King.

Grade: A-

Ice Age: The Meltdown (2006)

2011-12-26T08:00:00.000-10:00

Ice Age: The Meltdownis the first of three sequels to the 2000 computer-animated film, Ice Age, and continues the adventures ofthree prehistoric mammalian buddies – Manfred "Manny" the woollymammoth (voiced by Ray Romano), Sid the giant ground sloth (John Leguizamo),and Diego the Smilodon (Denis Leary).

Manny is worried. He realizes he hasn't seen anothermammoth. Is his species becoming extinct? After all, it IS getting warmer; all the ice is starting to melt. The ice dam isbeginning to crumble and a big flood is looming on the horizon.

The melting icebergs have released some mighty nastycreatures, and when the dam breaks, there will be no bare land in the valley tosave them.

To ensure survival, a massive herd of countless speciesheads off to the end of their valley where they heard there's a boat waiting.Along the way, the trio picks up a few new companions, including two rascally,rambunctious opossums – Crash and Eddie (Seann William Scott and Josh Peck) –and Ellie (Queen Latifah), a woolly mammoth who believes she's the opossums'sister.

There are some great secondary characters and celebrityvoicers too: Will Arnett as the Lone Gunslinger Vulture, Jay Leno as Fast Tony,the giant armadillo; Tom Fahn as Stu the glyptodon; Alex Sullivan as James theaardvark; and Alan Tudyk as the chalicothere.

It takes a bit of doing, but Manny finally convinces Elliethat she's a mammoth. She's got a lot to learn about mammoth-ing, and sherejects his off-the-cuff observation that as the remaining survivors of theirspecies, they have a responsibility to ... um, procreate. Yikes! Too soon, toosoon.

Sid has a turn at being worshipped by a huge tribe ofmini-sloths as the Fire King. Unfortunately, he soon finds out they mean tosacrifice him to the volcano. The others, of course, think he was justdreaming.

The vultures are watching the herd. A-a-and there goes thedam. A-a-and here comes the flood. A-a-and (shudder) the sea creatures!

When I say Ice Age:The Meltdown is more of the same shtick we came to love in its predecessor,Ice Age, it's not a putdown. It's acompliment. The art, the characters, the script and the performances are topshelf.

Oh, and remember Scrat the saber-toothed squirrel (ChrisWedge) who is constantly chasing that prehistoric acorn? He makes periodicmanic appearances throughout. And, take notice of Diego. He must not have beenhungry; he didn't have a thing to eat during the entire movie. Not even anibble.

Grade: A

Scrooged (1988)

2011-12-25T08:00:00.000-10:00

In this modern comic re-telling of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Story, the “bah humbug” roleis assumed by Bill Murray. Frank Xavier “Lumpy” Cross (Murray) is the cynical,loudmouthed, cross president of IBC television with a heart of coal.

Frank is visited by the decaying, crumbling body of his deadmentor, media mogul Lew Hayward (John Forsythe), who warns him that he will bevisited by three ghosts before midnight.

Frightened by the prospect, Frank getsin touch with Claire Phillips (Karen Allen), his long-time girlfriend whom hebrushed aside many years ago. Try as they might, they still can’t see eye toeye.

The first spectral visitor, the Ghost of Christmas Past(rock singer David Johansen), drives a cab and shows Frank how he clung on totelevision as a substitute for his father’s not believing in Santa, how he metClaire when he ditched a company Christmas party, and how he lost her when helet his career get in the way.

The second visitor, the Ghost of Christmas Present (Carol Kaneof Taxi fame), is a physicallyabusive fairy who “likes the rough stuff.” She shows him how his assistantGrace Cooley’s (Alfre Woodard) family is happy despite being poor, and despiteher son Calvin’s (Nicholas Phillips) inability to talk. He meets Herman(Michael J. Pollard), a homeless man who helps out where Claire works.

Finally, the Ghost of Christmas Future, Death, offers ahorrid glimpse of what is soon to be – Eliot Loudermilk (Bobcat Goldthwait),who he fired on Christmas Eve, has become a deranged man; Young Calvin nowresides in a padded room, Claire has turned into a society snob, and at Frank’sfuneral, only his brother, James (John Murray) and his wife, Wendie (WendyMalick), are in attendance.

Frightened out of his wits, Frank returns to the present achanged man, and butts into a live broadcast of A Christmas Carol starring Buddy Hackett as Scrooge, delivering aspontaneous, on-air speech about the true meaning of Christmas and how everyoneshould generously care for others.

And of course, the ever-mute Calvin, on set with his mother,sneaks up to Frank’s side and utters those famous closing words, “God bless us,everyone,” before everybody sings “Put a Little Love in Your Heart” as thecredits roll.

Veteran actor Robert Mitchum has a small but important partas Preston Rhinelander, Frank’s boss. In the on-air broadcast, Jamie Farr ofTV’s MASH fame plays Jacob Marley.John Glover plays the unctuous and conniving Brice Cummings, who’s afterFrank’s job.

Cameo appearances are made by Robert Goulet, John Houseman,Lee Majors and Mary Lou Retton as themselves; and Miles Davis, Larry Carlton,David Sanborn and Paul Shaffer as street musicians. Murray’s brothers – Brian(Earl Cross), John (James Cross) and Joel (James’ party guest) are in the movie.

Grade: B-

Christmas Movie Quotations 2

2011-12-25T07:30:00.000-10:00

"We've been set up by rich and powerful toycartels!" – Myron Larabee (Sinbad), in JingleAll the Way

"Cassie! That marker in your mouth? I peed on it!"– Kate (Reese Witherspoon), in FourChristmases

"You know what? It's myturn now ... MY Christmas!" – Mary Class/Claus (Jenny McCarthy), in Santa Baby

“Ringle,ringle, coins when they jingle, make such a lovely sound. Give them away andnobody can rob you.” – Ebenezer Scrooge (voiced by Jim Backus), in Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol

“Youstink. You smell like beef and cheese! You don’t smell like Santa.” – William“Buddy” Hobbs (Will Ferrell), in Elf

“I’ve always had a thing for Santa Claus. In case you didn’tnotice. It’s like some deep-seeded childhood thing.” – Sue (Lauren Graham), in Bad Santa

"I remember who I am! I AM Santa Claus!"– Santa Claus (R.D. Reid), in The NightBefore the Night Before Christmas

"Release me now or you'll have to face the direconsequences. The children are expecting me, so please come to yoursenses." –Santa Claus (voiced by Ed Ivory), in The Nightmare BeforeChristmas

“Faith is believing in things when common sense tells younot to.” – Fred Gailey (John Payne), in Miracleon 34^nd Street

“God bless us, every one!” – “Tiny” Tim Cratchit (RichardBeaumont), in the 1970 musical Scrooge

Jingle All The Way (1996)

2011-12-24T08:00:00.000-10:00

Inspired by the 1980s shoppingfrenzy over the Cabbage Patch dolls, JingleAll The Way is a silly movie ... stupid, yet kind of funny.

Howard Langston (ArnoldSchwarzenegger) misses son Jamie's (Jake Lloyd) karate class promotion to bluebelt, and in trying to make up for it, promises to get him the hottestChristmas toy of the year – a Turbo Man action figure.

Oops! That’s going to prove hardto do, especially after his wife, Liz (Rita Wilson) reminds him that she’d toldhim two weeks ago to get one. He'd forgotten, of course, but lies and says he'salready gotten it.

Now, we all know it's going tobe impossible for him to find one because it's Christmas Eve. To make mattersworse, today's also the day of the big Christmas parade, Turbo Man will be init. Jamie wants Howard there, so naturally, he promises he will.

Howard searches all over town,but there's none to be had. He meets Myron Larabee (Sinbad), who becomes hischief competitor for a doll. Racing Myron in and out of stores, they get intoriotous situations. And, this cop – Officer Hummell (Robert Conrad) – keepsshowing up every now and then, slowing down Howard’s search.

A department store Santa playedby James Belushi offers him a Turbo Man, taking him to a secret warehouse wherea large Santa toy operation fencing operation is in full swing. Howard escapesafter a big fight. He’s almost arrested, but foils it by conning the raidingpolice.

He and Myron race to a radiostation, trying to win a doll from the deejay (Martin Mull), but have to fleewhen police arrive after Myron pulls a package bomb out of his mailbag, blowingup the building (and incidentally the motorcycle cop as well).

At the parade, the two becomepart of the cast and battle it out as Turbo Man and his arch-enemy, Dementor(Richard Moll), putting Jamie in great danger.

The climax is a bit ridiculousand definitely improbable, but what do you want? It's a ridiculous comedy. LikeI said, silly, stupid, yet kind of funny. By the way, hang around until the endof the credits for a little bit more.

Jingle All The Way'sbudget was $75 million; it enjoyed box office receipts of nearly $130 million.

Grade: B

Four Christmases (2008)

2011-12-23T08:00:00.000-10:00

Orlando Bradford “Brad” McVie and his girlfriend, Kate, (ReeseWitherspoon), of San Francisco like to spend Christmases by themselves, alwaysciting charity work in faraway places so they can escape spending time withtheir respective divorced parents.

They are marriage-averse and child-phobic, their beliefs fedby horrible, boring stories related to them by acquaintances.

This works for two years; unfortunately this year badweather closes the airport. A TV news crew covering travelers stranded at SFOcatches them on camera and ... there goes their ruse. No excuse. They arerebooked on the next day’s flight, but parents see them on the news. Theirescape foiled, they are forced to visit their parents on Christmas Day.

Over the river and through the woods, to all of the parents’they go. Here’s what they get themselves into:

At Brad’s father Howard's (Robert Duvall) home: His brothersare named for cities in which they were conceived – Neanderthal brothers Denver(John Favreau),and Dallas (Tim McGraw), and (him) Orlando. The best line ofdialogue is, "Whore-doov-rez, anyone?" This is a strange family that takesbrotherly rough-housing to a whole new level.

At Kate’s mother Marilyn's (Mary Steenburgen) home: Kate likensit as a "bit of a cougar den" and this is borne out when everybodycomes on to Brad, including her grandmother. No presents are exchanged in thishouse, just gifts of the spirit. Brad and Kate are drafted to play Mary andJoseph in her mother’s boyfriend, Pastor Phil's (Dwight Yoakam) church.

At Brad’s mother Paula's (Sissy Spacek) home: Paula hasmarried his childhood best friend and it freaks Brad out that his mom andDarryl (Patrick Van Horn) sleep together. A word game kind of gets out of hand.

Kate’s father Creighton's (Jon Voigt) home is the only calmand sane, "normal" parent's household in the bunch, allowing Katesome quality time with her sister, Courtney (Kristin Chenoweth), and to reflecton what she really wants in life.

There are interesting revelations: Brad and Kate learnlong-suppressed personal secrets blabbed by their siblings. Kate's biologicalalarm clock begins chiming when she interacts with little children in thefamilies. And, the couple discovers they really don't know much about eachother.

Now this is one helluva set of parents – four Oscar winners:Robert Duvall (Tender Mercies), SissySpacek (Coal Miner's Daughter), JonVoight (Coming Home), and MarySteenburgen (Melvin and Howard).

Country-Western is a common connection amongst the cast.Dwight Yoakam and Tim McGraw are popular recording artists, and three othershave played country-western singers: Reese Witherspoon (Walk the Line), Robert Duvall (TenderMercies) and Sissy Spacek (CoalMiner's Daughter).

Despite awful reviews, Four Christmases' box office revenuesmore than doubled its budget of $80 million. And that is amazing, because thisis a hugely irritating movie. You just feel like reaching into the screen andbitch-slapping the characters one at a time, then starting over again.

Having said that, FourChristmases does have its moments – some funny, some touching.

Grade: C-

Santa Baby (2006)

2011-12-22T08:00:00.000-10:00

Mary Class (Jenny McCarthy) is a busy management consultantwho doesn't stop work for anything – not even the Thanksgiving holiday. That is, until her mom (Lynne Griffin) callsand tells Mary her father had a heart attack. That would be scary no matterwhose father it is, but you see, Mary's father isn't just anybody ... he'sSanta Claus (George Wendt).

Taking her assistant, Donna Campbell (Kandyse McClure) alongwith her, Mary hoofs it up north to Polaris, Canada, where she meets up withher old boyfriend, Luke Jessup (Ivan Sergei), who gives them a ride to theirhome, somewhere north of Polaris, through that big white mountain just ahead ofthem.

Santa balks at letting Mary finish preparations forChristmas. After all, he opines, isn't she too young, too headstrong and tooimpulsive? But she sets her mind to it, and runs the preparations like she doesher own business -- with slogans, moral boosters, goal-setting, producttesting, focus group research, and efficiency procedures.

The elves, on the other hand, aren't quite intellectually matureenough, or capable of following her directions. In fact, they end up putting abig crimp in her plans.

Mary seems to have things in order, but things get a bitcomplicated when her real-world boyfriend, Grant Foley (Tobias Mehler), stickshis nose in and pays a visit. And, he puts her on the spot and proposes to herat the Claus family dinner – a little too presumptuous for her. Why now, shewonders.

It seems that Grant has a grand vision of turning Santa'svillage into a visitor destination. It doesn't sit well with Mary, because he'sabout to cash in on his vision.

And then ... ahhh, the magic of Christmas.

Jenny McCarthy does a wonderful job; George Wendt isn'texactly a wonderful choice to play the big man (he's too much of a grump). Theelves are as innocent and juvenile as you would expect them to be.

And yes, you'll get to hear the song, “Santa Baby,” sung byAustralian pop singer Kylie Minogue.

An ABC Family original movie, Santa Baby was pretty successful. It was the channel's most-watchedoriginal movie ever, attracting 4.7 million viewers when it debuted on Dec. 10,2006. A sequel – Santa Baby 2: ChristmasMaybe – with Jenny McCarthy returning as Mary Clause, aired three yearslater.

Grade: B+

Elf (2003)

2011-12-21T08:00:00.000-10:00

When he was alittle bitty orphanage rug rat, William "Buddy" Hobbs (Will Ferrell)crawled into Santa's (Edward Asner) toy sack. Santa unwittingly takes hisuninvited guest back with him to the North Pole. (Well, that's what he gets,isn't it, for munching on cookies and not paying attention to what's going onbehind him?)

If not for thekindly Papa Elf (Bob Newhart), who takes him into his family, who knows whatfate might have had in store for Buddy.

Buddy grows up asan elf, but as you can imagine, he's not like the other elves. He's BI-I-I-IG!(They used no CGI or models, just what's known as "forcedperspective.")

So, like a petlion that outgrows the ranch, like a bear cub that gets too big for thechildren to play with safely, like the baby turtles released to the ocean,Buddy is told the truth and turned out into the cruel, real world.

The now-castoffBuddy learns that his real father is Walter Hobbs (James Caan), who works at aNew York children's book publishing company, but who unfortunately is onSanta's "naughty" list. His real mother is no longer alive but Walterhas remarried, so Buddy now has a stepmother, Emily (Mary Steenburgen), and ahalf-brother, Michael (Daniel Tay).

He befriends aGimbel's Department Store employee, Jovie (Zooey Deschanel, the first I've seenher as a blonde) and ends up spending the night decorating the store, much tothe surprise of the Gimbel’s manager (Faizon Love). Jovie takes a liking to himand goes out with him.

Buddy's innocencegets him into situations -- for instance, he exposes the department store Santaas a fake, de-bearding him in front of a host of delighted screaming kids. Healso sings a duet with Jovie while she's naked in the shower. And, he chopsdown a huge Christmas tree growing in the park. By the way, I loved hispost-cola belch ... it lasted 15 seconds.

Walter's baddecision regarding releasing a book with missing pages gets him into bigtrouble, forcing him to report to his boss on Christmas Eve. To get back ontrack, he hires a kiddie story whiz author, the dwarf, Miles Finch (PeterDinklage). When Buddy insults his by calling him an elf, Finch walks out,prompting Walter to kick Buddy out of his office for good.

Buddy runs away,Michael interrupts Walter's pitch meeting, Walter leaves with Michael and isfired, the Central Park rangers are closing in and all seems lost -- that is,until Santa arrives and ... aaah, the magic of Christmas!

This is a goodmovie.

There are a few“guest voices,” including singer Leon Redbone as Leon the Snowman, and moviespecial effects pioneer Ray Harryhausen as the polar bear cub.

Jim Carrey was theoriginal schoice to play Buddy. I wonder if he would have had the same effectas Will Ferrell did when he walked through the Lincoln Tunnel in his costume(he caused several minor traffic accidents). You know what? He likely wouldhave caused MAJOR traffic accidents.

All the people onSanta's "nice" list near the end of the film worked on the movie. Itwas a nice homage to the crew.

You can hear manyof your favorite Christmas songs in Elf, including "Sleigh Ride,""Jingle Bells," "Santa Baby," "WinterWonderland," "Santa Claus is Coming to Town," and many more.

Elf did monsterbusiness at the box office. Its $33-million budget resulted in revenues verymuch in excess of $220 million. A musical based on the movie was performed onBroadway during the 2010 Christmas season.

Grade: B

Bad Santa (2003)

2011-12-20T08:00:00.000-10:00

Thisis not your everyday Santa and Christmas movie.

WilliamT. “Willy” Stokes (Billy Bob Thornton), is a decrepit alcoholic, a sorry excusefor a human being and one hell of an awful mall Santa Claus. He's as depressedand insensitive as they come. Plus, he's a crook.

Williehis dwarf friend and mall elf, Marcus (Tony Cox), rob the malls they set up inat the end of each season, raking in thousands of dollars. That sets him upuntil next Christmas, and he spends his share vacationing in Miami, whileMarcus returns home to his wife, Lois (Lauren Tom).

Attheir next job – a Phoenix mall, their eighth in eight years – the mallmanager, Bob Chipeska (John Ritter), and security chief, Gin Stagel (BernieMac), feel a bit uneasy about Willie's language, demeanor and job performance,despite Marcus' attempts to rationalize his disgusting actions and straightenhim out. (Chipeska's conversations with Gin are hilarious.)

IntoWillie's life waddles a pudgy, curly blond-haired, quiet, lonely, unpopularyoung boy – Thurman “The Kid” Merman (Brett Kelly) – and a beautiful, vivaciousyoung bartender, Sue (Lauren Graham), who has a thing for Santas. He and Suemake it a regular thing, if you get my drift.

Backto the kid – he lives with his senile grandmother (Cloris Leachman), and hisfather has been on a "hunting trip" for a long, long time (he'sactually in prison doing four to six for embezzlement). Willy is such a badSanta (okay, a bad MAN) that he takes grandma' money from her wall safe, alongwith the father's BMW.

Willieunilaterally decides to move in with the kid and his grandma. The kid stillbelieves in Santa and is so naive that he keeps asking questions about Santa'slife, irritating the hell out of Willie.

Chipeskadoesn't want to fire them because Marcus plays the "I'm a black midget andthat's discrimination" card. Gin does his research however, figures outtheir scam and demands half the action to keep his mouth shut. Bad move. Soon,it's bye-bye Gin.

Itturns out that associating with the kid and Sue is doing good things forWillie, who discovers he does have a conscience, a sense of protection, atleast a modicum of responsibility, and the Christmas spirit.

And... and, he gets a hand-carved wooden pickle as a Christmas present.

Actorswho either signed on then dropped out, or who were interested but alreadycommitted elsewhere, included Larry David, Bill Murray and Jack Nicholson. SoBilly Bob Thornton got the job, and apparently a lot of alcohol too – he admitshe was actually intoxicated during the filming.

Profanityis rampant in Bad Santa – the “F” word (and variations) is used 159 times, andthe “S” word is used 73 times. In all, there are 300 profanities spoken. (Iwonder who counts these things, anyway?)

BadSanta has been labeled the “evil twin” of Miracle on 34th Street. Be that as itmay, it was wildly successful, garnering U.S. and worldwide box office revenuesin excess of $76 million against its $18-million budget. And no wonder—it'svulgarly funny. A sequel is in the works.

Twomonths before the movie’s release, John Ritter died; the movie was dedicated tohis memory.

Grade:B

The Night Before the Night Before Christmas (2010)

2011-12-19T08:00:00.000-10:00

It's minutes before his Christmas Eve takeoff, andSanta (R.D. Reid) is a little apprehensive, but Mrs. Claus (Marcia Bennett) andhis top elf, Nigel Thumb (Jordan Prentiss), build his confidence and send himoff on schedule.

In Milwaukee, we meet the Fox family: MotherAngela (Jennifer Beals), father Wayne (Rick Roberts), son Toby (Gage Monroe),and daughter Hannah (Rebecca Williams) – each doing his/her own thing, notreally in the Christmas spirit. Well, not entirely. Toby is.

Although the Foxes are 'way behind schedule (theydon't even have a tree or bought presents yet) Toby wishes for a great familyChristmas this year.

When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter,they all rushed outside to see what was the matter. It's Santa Claus. Toby IDshim as Santa, Wayne wonders if he's a mall Santa, and Hannah refers to him asan "old geezer." Santa's no help. When his sleigh crashed, he losthis memory. (Oh no! An amnesiac Santa!)

To everyone's amazement, Nigel shows up at theirfront door looking for Santa, and of course, he finds him. Poor Nigel, Santadoesn't recognize him, despite their 20- year partnership. He takes all theblame, because he used last year's calendar and sent Santa out a full 24 hourstoo early.

Santa's bag is lost, but turns up at the ChristmasHope Foundation's thrift shop, whose shelves are soon packed with presents, tothe delight of Toys for Tots.

Eventually, the whole family slowly begins torealize that they indeed are playing host to Kris Kringle. In their own way,each of them finds the true magic of Christmas as they pull together to helpSanta find his magic bag, and mostly to square things with Toby, whom they alllet down because of their personal priorities.

Oh, and can you believe that Santa couldn'tqualify to enter a Santa look-alike contest?

TheNight Before the Night Before Christmas is a most enjoyable moviewith a terrific script and very nice acting. It takes hold of your heart,gently steers it in the right direction and cries out the magic word. It seemsthat Mrs. Claus is a lot more important than we thought.

Grade: B

The Devil's Own (1997)

2011-12-18T08:00:00.000-10:00

It's1993, and Francis "Frankie" McGuire (Brad Pitt), an IRA assassin inthe U.S. to buy weapons, is the house guest of NYPD Sgt. Tom O'Meara (HarrisonFord) and his wife, Sheila (Margaret Colin). They know him as Rory Devaney andthink he's in New York doing construction work.

WhileFrankie gets on with his planning and prepping to transport guided missilesacross the Atlantic to Northern Ireland, Tom and his partner, Officer EddieDiaz (Ruben Blades), spend their days doing what they do best – policing thestreets of New York.

Rorystrikes a deal with a bar owner and arms dealer, Billy Burke (Treat Williams),who promises to front the purchases and deliver in six to eight weeks, uponreceipt of Frankie's payment. The requisite amount is delivered to Frankie byMegan Doherty (Natascha McElhone), the sister of an old friend.

Thedeal is postponed when one of the IRA leaders is killed. The money has to beheld onto, which doesn't sit well with Burke, whose money is tired up in thearms.

Thenone day, when Tom and Sheila go home for a nooner, they are accosted by twoarmed men wearing ski masks. Frankie arrives just in time to help, but the menget away. Billy Burke apparently wants his money and is increasing the pokerstakes. He's playing rough.

Frankieis forced to tell Tom everything when Tom finds the money he'd hidden in thehouse. Trying to do the right thing, Tom takes Frankie in, but he escapes alongthe way. The FBI and British Intelligence come searching for answers, but Tomplays hard to get.

Itgets pretty muddy from this point on, and I can't say I liked the way the storywent as it neared the end ... among other things, an old cop inexperienced inshooting at people vs internationally wanted killer, their supposed "heartto heart" on the boat ... pretty forced and unrealistic, I felt. Plus,that whole side story involving Eddie Diaz is totally irrelevant.

Iread later that Brad Pitt was terribly unhappy with how the script went throughrevision after revision, calling the final version "a mess." Hewanted to quit, but his penalty would have been incredibly high and the studiothreatened him with a lawsuit.

Pittearned $12 million for his part; Harrison Ford was paid $20 million. Still, itwas no picnic for Pitt. While in West Belfast trying to perfect his North Irishaccent, he was attacked.

The Devil's Own, which had a budget of $90million, did well at the box office, with receipts in excess of $140 million,despite so-so reviews from the critics.

Grade: C

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

2011-12-17T08:00:00.000-10:00

Christina"Tina" Gray (Amanda Wyss) is having dreams. Horrible dreams.Nightmares, actually, waking up screaming, her night clothes ripped by hernightmare assailant's knife-like fingernails.

And you know what?She's not the only one. Her friend, Nancy Thompson (Helen Langencamp), has beendreaming of the same man, with the same fingernails. Her boyfriend, Rod Lane(Jsu Garcia, credited as Nick Corri), also confesses to having bad dreams.

In a scenereminiscent of The Exorcist, Tina isbrutally murdered by an invisible entity, sliding up the walls, levitating andtumbling above the bed, blood spurting from slashing wounds. Rod is shocked ashe watches, unable to help.

The nightmareslasher, Fred Krueger (Robert Englund), is only visible to the dreamer, withinthe dream, and to no one else. Freddie is horribly disfigured, burned, and hewears a floppy fedora and a red and dark-green horizontally wide-striped poloshirt.

Nancy's parents –police Lt. Donald and Marge Thompson (John Saxon and Ronee Blakely) – areskeptical of the bad dreams and are more concerned about why Nancy's seeingGlenn Lantz (a very young Johnny Depp, appearing in his first film), whom shewas with the night Tina was killed.

The bad dreamscontinue for Nancy, intensifying to the point where she has them when she fallsasleep during the day, in class and in her bathtub. Freddie, it seems, isalways present around her somehow. The scenes involving Freddie are startlingand frightening, with the audio turned 'way up on purpose to intensify theexperience.

Glenn is prettypragmatic and matter-of-fact about the dreams. He's convinced Rod killed Tina,but he agrees to "stand guard" for Nancy while she pushes the limitswith Freddie and the dreams. He doesn't do a very good job of it. He's alwaysfalling asleep.

And then, Rod,who's being held in a police station cell, bites it. Horribly. An apparenthanging suicide. But we know differently, don't we?

Nancy manages towrest Freddie's hat during a test conducted by Dr. King (Charles Fleischer) ofthe sleep clinic her mother takes her to. Marge Thompson, it seems, knowssomething about Krueger. She feels morally obligated to fill Nancy in with thefacts. Krueger was a serial child murder who was released on a technicality,then killed by a vigilante group of parents that included Marge.

But that stilldoesn't help Nancy. Glenn gets it next, leaving Nancy alone to cope. Her dad,who's investigating the murders, half-heartedly agrees to her plan. It getspretty nasty after that.

A Nightmare on Elm Street was extraordinarily successful, bringingin a box office of $26 million (it only cost $1.8 million to make). In fact,because of the film's success, New Line Cinema avoided bankruptcy and becameknown as "The House that Freddie Built."

Freddie Kruegerwas named the #40 villain in the American Film Institute's all-time Top 100Villains list.

A Nightmare on Elm Street was remade in 2010, after spawning sevensequels:

· A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddie'sRevenge (1984)

· A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1985)

· A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The DreamMaster (1987)

· A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The DreamChild (1988)

· Freddie's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)

· Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)

· Freddie vs Jason (2003)

Grade: B-

Unknown (2011)

2011-12-16T08:00:00.000-10:00

Unknown is based on Didier Van Cauwelaert’s 2003 French novel, Out of My Head.

Accompanied by hiswife Liz (January Jones), Dr. Martin Harris (Liam Neeson) arrives in Berlinwhere he is scheduled to speak at a biotechnology summit. He discovers that hisbriefcase has been left at the airport and catches a cab to retrieve it.

When his driver,Gina (Diane Kruger), swerves to avoid hitting something falling off the back ofa truck, her car crashes off a bridge and flies into a river. Emerging from afour-day coma with much of his memory in a haze, Martin reestablishes contactwith Liz.

But ... there is aproblem. Liz doesn't recognize him. In fact she's with another man who claimsto be Dr. Martin Harris. And that, quite understandably, not only greatlyconfuses him, it makes him extremely angry.

He asks theauthorities to call Prof. Rodney Cole (Frank Langella), his former colleague.Cole is out of his office and can't be reached; to make things worse, anInternet search for Prof. Cole produces a picture of the other Dr. Harris. Nowhe's REALLY confused, but all the more determined to find out why his wife isobviously lying.

Paranoia sets in.Martin tries to prove his identity, but an encounter with the other MartinHarris only proves one thing: they both know the same things, the same people,the same words and phases and conversations carried on with others. Now evenwe, the audience, become confused.

Just what is goingon? We'll eventually find out, of course. The hospital nurse refers him toErnst Jürgen (Bruno Ganz), a former agent for "Stasi," the EastGermany Ministry for State Security. They meet, he asks Herr Jürgen to help himprove his identity.

Herr Jürgen hashim find and talk to the taxi driver, Gina, who it seems, is an illegalimmigrant from Bosnia who now works as a cafe waitress. Maybe she knows or sawsomething. (You knew Gina was going to be important in the movie, didn't you?After all, Diane Kruger is an actress of significant stature and enjoys secondbilling.)

The"other" Dr. Martin Harris, it turns out, is actually someone namedMartin B. (Aidan Quinn). And now, bad guys are after the real Martin, and Ginaas well. Things start getting dangerous, and the action picks up. Jürgen andMartin make connections and discoveries separately – revelations that togetherexplain why all of this is going on.

So we finally getan inkling of what's happening. Or do we? Because this is where things reallyget interesting.

When all is saidand done, the twists and turns of Unknownall come together in the end, resulting in a final "as the crowflies" rush to the climax. Once we know who's who, and what's what,everything makes sense and our minds can focus clearly.

Trivia: Dr.Harris’ passport shows his birthday is on June 7, which happens to be LiamNeeson’s birthday as well.

Grade: B

The Rite (2011)

2011-12-15T08:00:00.000-10:00

The Rite is basedon Mark Baglio's 2009 book, The Making ofan Exorcist. Inspired by true events, it's the story of Michael Kovak(Colin O'Donoghue), a mortician dissatisfied with his lot in life, who worksfor his father, Istvan (Rutger Hauer).

In his family, you either become a mortician or a priest.Michael chooses to become a priest and enters a seminary, where he fulfills therequirements to take his final vows. But after all that, he drops out, due tolack of faith.

Seeing something in Michael, his advisor, Father Matthew(Toby Jones), recommends that he take a two-month course in Rome and become amuch-needed exorcist. He agrees and soon is in Europe meeting his newinstructor, Father Xavier (Ciarán Hinds), who sends his to see Father LucasTrevant (Anthony Hopkins).

He befriends Angelina Vargas (Alice Braga), a newspaperreporter researching an article, who is also in Father Xavier's class. She askshim to fill her in on details about what he experiences when he's with FatherLucas.

Father Lucas introduces him to Rosaria (Marta Gastini), whois both pregnant and possessed. Michael witnesses and participates in his firstexorcism, filling in briefly when Father Lucas has to ... (get this) ... answerhis cell phone.

Rosario's physical contortions when the demon manifestsitself in her are pretty horrifying and incredible, quite startling to theyoung, inexperienced priest. Michael is skeptical about her possession,preferring to believe that her father raped her and that she's internalizingthe guilt by not identifying whom the baby's real father is.

Is Father Lucas the real thing? Or is he playing a game withmany of his subjects, helping them believe what they want to believe?

Perhaps Michael may never get the chance to find out becausetragedy descends upon Rosaria, affecting both Michael and Father Lucas in thedeepest way, and presaging some mighty strange incidents – events predicted bya boy who claims to be possessed.

Something's happened to Father Lucas, and Michael andAngelina rush to help, only to discover him fully lucid, yet not himself. SoMichael has to cast aside his doubts and depend on everything (including theexorcism rite) he had earlier disavowed.

Boy, that Anthony Hopkins sure can act.

The Rite did wellat the box office, taking in more than $96 million against its $37-millionbudget.

Grade: B+

Boogeyman 2 (2008)

2011-12-14T08:00:00.001-10:00

Boogeyman 2 is a sequel to the highly profitable 2005 film, Boogeyman.

When Laura Porter (Danielle Savre) and her brother Henry (Matt Cohen) were kids, they saw their father brutally murdered by a dark, shadowy figure that they believe is the boogeyman.

Ten years later, Laura's continuing nightmares compel her to seek help at the Hillridge Clinic in Santa Barbara where Henry has done well and is finally ready to leave and re-enter the world at large.

She joins a therapy group run by Dr. Jessica Ryan (Renee O'Connor). Dr. Mitchell Allen (Tobin Bell), head of the hospital psychiatric department, is inclined to agree with the hospital board that Dr. Ryan's program is a mistake.

The group consists of: Mark (David Gallagher), who's afraid of the dark; Paul (Johnny Simmons), a germaphobe; Alison (Mae Whitman), a masochist; Darren (Michael Graziadei), who's afraid of commitments; and Nicky (Chrissy Griffith), who’s bulimic.

As is typical in psychological horror films of this sort that introduce an ensemble of secondary characters, the members of the therapy group meet horrid endings one after the other, playing on their phobias.

Mark is trapped in the dark of the basement when the lights systematically switch off while he's puffing a joint, his life ending with a slicing, splattering sound. He's found cut in half and hanging upside-down in an elevator shaft. Laura suggests that it was the boogeyman.

Paul finds cockroaches in his chips and drinks his disinfectant cleaning fluid, foams at the mouth and bleeds from the throat, and dies. Laura thinks it was the boogeyman.

Awakening and finding herself duct-taped to her bed, Alison slashes her arms open and bleeds to death when she finds maggots eating away at her flesh. Once again, Laura thinks it was the boogeyman.

After he rejects Nicky and hides alone in his room, Darren meets a grisly end while listening to a taped interview with Dr. Allen that starts playing on its own. Laura's not there, but I'm sure she would have blamed the boogeyman.

Finally, Laura finds Nicky all tubed up and being pumped full of liquids (and maybe some food?) until she bursts apart. Laura is positive that the boogeyman did it.

Even the staff isn't safe. Gloria (Lesli Margherita), the clinic receptionist, is sent to the basement by Dr. Ryan to reconnect the computer system after it goes on the blink. Dr. Ryan's is electrocuted in a puddle of water when she goes to find Gloria and is frightened by what she sees.

So who – or what – is it that's got Laura and the clinic is his/its grip? Can it be? Is it really the boogeyman preying on their fears?

The ambiance of the movie is gloomy and dark – a paucity of primary colors, a palette that's mostly blue and gray and black. Any bright colors that make it in are muted at best.

I didn't think the movie was all that bad, but going direct to DVD, Boogeyman 2 only brought in about $2.9 million against its budget of $4.5 million. However, that enabled production ofBoogeyman 3 in 2009, which proved to be very successful.

Grade: B-

Yuma (1971)

2011-12-13T06:00:00.000-10:00

Yuma is a TV movie that was broadcast on ABC on March 2, 1971. It's pretty cliché western stuff – lawman comes to town, kills a powerful man's son, is framed, and must battle corruption and treachery.

U.S. Marshal Dave Walton (Clint Walker) arrives in Yuma, Arizona, where lawlessness reigns, bound to instill order and quell violence. The problem is there are those who resent that and try to resist his efforts.

He is forced to shoot a man soon after his arrival; unfortunately, the man is the brother of powerful Arch King (Morgan Woodward), a cattle baron who answers to no man and no law except his own. Marshal Harmon throws the other brother into jail.

Harmon befriends Andres (Miguel Alejandro), an orphan from Nogales, who witnesses two men help the prisoner to escape, only to shoot him in the back. They want King to blame Walker and run him out of town.

One of the suspects is Capt. White (John Kerr), who as quartermaster of the nearby Army post is responsible for picking the freight company that will provide freight transportation services for a year. Mules McNeill (Edgar Buchanan), a friendly townsman, is one of the bidders. Mules' chief competitor is Nelson Decker (Barry Sullivan), owner of the Decker Freight Company, which always seems to be the successful bidder.

King confronts Harmon, listens to his story, and gives him an ultimatum: Find the man who did it by sundown the next day, or he'll consider Harmon as the one who shot his son in the back. Meanwhile, Julie Williams (Kathryn Hayes), Yuma Hotel owner, takes a liking to the marshal and helps him with some background information.

It seems that Decker and his henchman, Sanders (Robert Phillips), are – and have been – up to no good, especially when they flaunt a peace treaty to the detriment of the local Indian tribe.

Yuma is good, average storytelling. Not great by any means, but not horrible either.

Grade: C

And God Created Woman (1956)

2011-12-12T06:00:00.000-10:00

And God Created Women (original title: Et Dieu… créa la femme) is a French-language film by Roger Vadim, who was later to become the first of Jane Fonda's three husbands.

I remember seeing the "coming attractions" movie poster and eagerly awaited its showing. Unfortunately, they slapped an "Adults Only" restriction on it, so I had to wait many, many years before the restrictions relaxed and I could see it.

Today's audiences will probably view the film and wonder what all the fuss was about. But this was post-World War II Hawaii, and America's sexual revolution was still a decade away. And God Created Woman, sexual promiscuity and Bridget Bardot were hot stuff at the time.

A wealthy St. Tropez developer, Éric Carradine (Curd Jürgens), has eyes on 18-year old Juliette Hardy (Bridget Bardot), a highly sexed young woman. He also wants to buy the Tardieu Shipyard (he needs their land to realize his latest planned development).

Juliette, on the other hand, has something going with Antoine Tardieu (Christian Marquand), which upsets Michel (Jean-Louis Trintignant), his younger brother, who desires her.

When she overhears Antoine telling a friend he's planning only a one-night stand with her, Juliette decides to make a play for Éric, even though he is much older than she is. When he keeps his head, she decides to string Antoine along, hoping to entrap him, but that doesn't work.

Michel proposes to her, and after a little bit of hesitation, she accepts. Of course, everybody who knows her either objects, laughs, or tries to persuade him to reconsider. He doesn't, and soon they are wed. They are so into the wedding night bed that they miss their family wedding dinner.

Éric and the Tardieus agree to terms, which upsets Juliette because it means Antoine will be returning, and that will awaken her desires for him. As it turns out, however, the three men have all been played by Juliette, all of them emerging as losers in the game.

And God Created Women was condemned by the Catholic league of Decency, which only increased interest of the film in the United States. St. Tropez benefited as well; because of the movie, the French resort gained a reputation as a fashionable destination.

Grade: B

Terror on a Train (1953)

2011-12-11T07:08:00.000-10:00

Terror on a Train is the United States title of the British film, Time Bomb.

A saboteur (Victor Maddern) hides a bomb on a train transporting explosive sea mines from Birmingham to the seaport city of Portsmouth, and escapes capture by railway police. However, he leaves his satchel behind.

The police discover a matchbox containing detonators, put two and two together and contact the railway's zone security officer, Jim Warrilow (Maurice Denham).

The train is diverted to an old rail siding at Felsworth, next to a residential area while an intense search tries to locate the saboteur. The town has to be evacuated.

Meanwhile, back in Birmingham, Maj. Peter Lycort (Glenn Ford), formerly of the Royal Canadian Engineers bomb disposal unit, is having marital problems ... his French wife, Janine (Anne Vernon), is bored and leaves him. As if that weren't enough, he gets a call for help from Warrilow.

Janine parks herself at the train station with a ticket, prepared to spend a long time, "on account of this trouble," as the ticket agent advises. Little does she know that her husband is now involved in "this trouble."

Maj. Lycort arrives at the scene and sets about checking the sea mines one by one, quite a tedious and daunting task. Faced with a time dilemma, he is forced to accept Warrilow's offer to help, giving him a quick lesson in what to look for.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch ... er, the train station ... Janine has second thoughts about what she's doing and tries to contact her husband, who doesn't seem to be where he should be.

Now it's her turn to put two and two together; she figures out that Peter is the man she's heard about who's working on the explosive train problem. Off she goes, driving to Felsworth to be by Peter's side, quite frankly complicating the problem.

The saboteur is located and apprehended when the police follow a logical hunch and lie in wait at the train station in Portsmouth. He's flown by helicopter to Felsworth, where Warringer has just found a bomb that Peter disarms.

Aha, but ... is it the only one planted on the train?

Grade: B-

Movie Quotations 72

2011-12-11T07:03:00.000-10:00

"No respectable man is that respectable – Edward Pierce (Sean Connery), in The Great Train Robbery

"You make it a point never to attack a weaker partythan yourselves, and when you attack a stronger one, you invariably getthrashed!" – Frederick (Rex Smith), in ThePirates of Penzance

"My darling, you did NOTcheat, you TOLD me about it. If you HADN'T told me about it, THAT would havebeen cheating!"—Carol Sanders (Natalie Wood) in Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice

"Thebottle is more distinguished than its wine." – Hercule Poirot (AlbertFinney), in Murder on the Orient Express

"Youmarried a soldier on wartime leave, I married a girl who was driving a Jeep.You wanna go back to that?" – Maj. Peter Lycourt (Glenn Ford), in Terror on a Train

"Éric, you'rea lost cause ... You're about to fall in love ... Whenever you look at her, youdon't seem as intelligent." – Mme. Vigier-LeFranc (Jacqueline Ventura), inAnd God Created Women

"Quit complaining, kid, and beproud of what you are. Fighting for is better than fighting against." –Marshal Dave Walton (Clint Walker), in Yuma

"We'reall afraid of the same thing.The boogeyman, germaphobia, they're all masks, masks that we create to hidewhat we're truly afraid of." – Dr. Mitchell Allen (Tobin Bell), in Boogeyman 2

"You know, the interesting thing aboutskeptics, atheists, is that we're always looking for proof. The question is,what on earth would we ever do if we found it?" – Father Lucas Trevant(Anthony Hopkins), in The Rite

“Inthe Stasi, we had a basic principle: Ask enough questions and a man who islying will eventually change his story. But the man who tells the truth cannotchange his, however unlikely his story sounds.” – Ernst Jürgen (BrunoGanz), in Unknown

Murder on the Orient Express (1974)

2011-12-10T08:00:00.000-10:00

Murder on the Orient Express is based on British crime novelist AgathaChristie's 1934 novel of the same name, one of 33 in which the famous Belgiandetective appeared.

HerculePoirot (Albert Finney), is asked by his friend, train company director Bianchi(Martin Balsam) to help solve a murder on The Orient Express on its run fromConstantinople.

Awealthy, despicable American businessman, Mr. Ratchett (Richard Widmark), hasbeen stabbed multiple number of times by person or persons unknown. It turnsout that Ratchett is linked to the kidnapping and murder of infant DaisyArmstrong, the daughter of a British Army officer.

Ratchett’s real name was Casseti, a gangster implicated inthe kidnapping and death of Daisy Armstrong, a wealthy British colonel’s babydaughter. When the demanded ransom was paid, the kidnappers murdered Daisy.Mrs. Armstrong, who was pregnant, went into labor and died during childbirth;her baby was stillborn. A servant who was wrongly accused killed herself. Soonafter, Col. Armstrong also took his own life.

Here are the suspectsand motives that Poirot must consider:

· ColonelArbuthnott (Sean Connery) is a British officerreturning to England on leave. He was a friend of Col. Armstrong in the Army.

· Mrs.Harriet Belinda Hubbard (Lauren Bacall) is an old fuss-budget,an American socialite who can’t keep her mouth shut. She was Mrs. Armstrong’smother.

· GretaOhlsson (Ingrid Bergman) is a Swedish missionary returning toEurope to raise money for her Arfican mission. She was Daisy Armstrong’snursemaid.

· EdwardBeddoes (Sir John Gielgud), Ratchett’s valet,was Col. Armstrong’s army personal servant and the Armstrong family’s butler.

· HectorMcQueen (Athony Perkins), is Ratchett’ssecretary and translator, and not only was very fond of Mrs. Armstrong, he alsowas the son of the district attorney who prosecuted the case.

· PrincessNatalia Dragomiroff (Wendy Hiller), an elderly woman ofRussian royalty, was Mrs. Armstrong’s godmother.

· CountRudolf Andrenyi (Michael York) is an aristocratic, adiplomat from Hungary, was Mrs. Armstrong’s brother in law.

· CountessElena Andrenyi (Jacqueline Bissett), is married toRudolph, and was Mrs. Armstrong’s sister.

· MaryDebenham (Vanessa Redgrave), who is returningto England after teaching in Baghdad, was Mrs. Armstrong’s secretary.

· HildegardeSchmidt (Rachel Roberts), Princess Dragomiroff’spersonal maid, was the Armstrong’s cook.

· Antonio“Gino” Foscarelli (Denis Quilley), a Chicago carsalesman, was the Armstrong’s chauffeur.

· CyrusB. "Dick" Hardman (Colin Blakely), a detectivemasquerading as a talent agent, was in love with an Armstrong maidservant,Paulette, who was wrongly accused of Daisy’s murder.

· Pierre-PaulMichel (Jean-Pierre Cassel), the sleeping-carconductor, was Paulette’s father.

Poirotinvestigates and sniffs through all the clues that the murderer or murderershave left behind. And believe me, there are many – too many, it seems toPoirot. Something is afoot, and the odor of red herrings threatens to foul upthe investigation. But fear not, for this ISHercule Poirot on the case.

Dr. Constantine(George Coulouris) – a Greek doctor traveling on the train who is enlisted tohelp in the investigation – and Bianchi are quick to deduce that each suspectis the culprit as soon as his/her interview is completed, much to the amusementof the movie audience.

In the final scene,Poirot assembles all the suspects and in true “who dunnit” tradition, explainswhat went on and who the real killer was.

Murder on the Orient Express received six Academy Award nominations,including Best Actor (Albert Finney) and Best Supporting Actress (IngridBergman). Ms Bergman took home an Oscar. Her performance is mostly contained ina five-minute scene filmed in one marvelous, continuous take when hercharacter, Greta Ohlsson, was being interviewed by Hercule Poirot.

RichardWidmark later confessed he took the part of Ratchett so that he could meet theother stars.

Theonly criticism Agatha Christie had of the film, which she liked, was thatHercule Poirot didn't have a mustache in the movie (he had a "fineone" in the novel). Which is a strange comment, because in the movie,Poirot DOES have a mustache. Unless, that is, she meant Finney himself had nohair on his upper lip in real life.

Grade: A

Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice (1969)

2011-12-09T08:00:00.002-10:00

Los Angeles documentaryfilm-maker Bob Sanders (Robert Culp) and his wife Carol (Natalie Wood) believein free love and are very open about their sexuality.

Believing they've"found" themselves at an emotional weekend self-discovery session,Bob and Carol want to share their newfound freedom with Ted and Alice Henderson(Elliott Gould and Dyan Cannon), who are pretty much squares.

Their attempts to elicittruthful responses from others make people feel uncomfortable, but itapparently is helping their marriage.

For example: Bob's honestyprompts him to confess having sex with one of the staff assistants on adocumentary shoot in San Francisco. And the thing is, Carol accepts itdispassionately and calmly, actually feeling somewhat honored that he told herwithout lying, which bothers the heck out of him. She asks him to give her anaccounting of what happened and how he felt ... which he does, and that leadsto a session of love-making on their bathroom floor.

When Carol tells Ted and Aliceabout Bob's indiscretion, it bothers them, but in different, incompatible ways,revealing the vulnerability of their psyches. Ted is a little more tolerant thanAlice, who's sickened by what happened between her friends. The scene where Tedand Alice are in bed discussing it is pretty humorous.

Later on, the shoe slips onto theother foot. Bob returns home early from a business trip and finds Carol at homewith another man. She just wanted to do it; Bob is extremely upset anddepressed, experiencing at last how Carol once felt and maybe held in. Theytalk it out while Carol's lover continues hiding in their bedroom,rationalizing their actions and ending up feeling good about everything.

On a trip to Las Vegas, Tedconfesses having an affair with a beauty he met and fantasized propositioningto while flying to Miami, angering Alice and prompting her to suggest afoursome orgy.

Do they do it? What do YOU think?

A television sitcom based on thefilm lasted only one season on ABC (1973-1974), hampered by having to be muchless racy and sexually suggestive than the movie.

Instead of taking her $750,000salary, Natalie Wood instead opted for a percentage of the movie. Good move. Itearned her $3 million.

For whatever reason, a number oftop actors turned down parts in the film, including Warren Beatty, RobertRedford, Steve McQueen, Tuesday Weld, Jane Fonda and Faye Dunaway.

Actors who tested for, or werebeing considered for, roles included Richard Benjamin, Peter Falkland, JamesCaan and Paula Prentiss. Bill Cosby appears in an uncredited role as anightclub patron.

I love the men's clothing andhair in the film; they're so "almost-'70s." I lived in LA during thatsame period and good Lord, I think I dressed and had hair like that.

Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice was nominated for four Oscars, including Elliott Gouldand Dyan Cannon for Best Supporting Actor and Actress respectively.

Grade: B+

The Adjustment Bureau (2011)

2011-12-08T08:00:00.000-10:00

David Norris (Matt Damon), a New York congressman, isrunning for the U.S. Senate and has a 10-point lead over his closestcompetitor. He's a young and attractive candidate who connects with the voters.

Unfortunately, he's photographed showing his butt, and onelection night, it doesn't look good for him – he trails in the returns.

While practicing his concession speech, he meets EliseSellas (Emily Blunt), a ballerina who is hiding in the men's room to get awayfrom hotel security who's after her for crashing a wedding. They hit it off,and she disappears out of his life.

So anyway, Dave loses. But there are other forces at work,forces like the Adjustment Bureau, which is working hard to ensure things turnout the way they are supposed to. By coincidence (or IS it a coincidence?) Dave meets Elise again when he jumps on a busto his first day of work at his new job. They continue to hit it off.

Something goes wrong, something weird. When he enters ameeting room, he sees government-type men scanning the mind of his campaignmanager Charlie Traynor (Michael Kelly) who was being "recalibrated."Also, Dave wasn't supposed to meet Elise again, so they destroy her contactinformation.

The head agent, Richardson (John Slattery), admonishes himnot to say anything or reveal the bureau's existence, or his brain will beerased by the intervention team (a "Square One Reset"). From thispoint on, he is constantly watched by Harry Mitchell (Anthony Mackie), his caseofficer.

Dave reluctantly (and not with just a little puzzlement)goes with the flow, but he can't forget Elise. Incredibly, three years later,he finds her. Charlie and his assistant, McCrady (Anthony Ruivivar), personallyintervene and try to get things back on track by interfering with Dave's andElise's plans to meet, but Dave is persistent and pushes on until he reachesCharlie's "ripple limit."

Charlie kicks it upstairs to Donaldson (Donnie Keshawarz),who has bureau researcher Burdensky (David Bishins) look at older and revisedplans. It seems Dave and Elise were indeed (according to the older plans thathave since been revised) always meant to be together. So Donaldson does thesmart thing – he kicks it farther upstairs to Thompson (Terence Stamp).

Thompson gets right on the case. He arranges for Elise'sex-fiance to re-establish contact with her the morning after she sleeps withDave for the first time. Because the bureau has plans – big plans – for Davethat won't happen for the good of the world if he and Elise continue to staytogether. He won't become president, and she won't become a great choreographerand dance teacher.

What a dilemma. What to do ... what to do? Let's just say The Adjustment Bureau has a simple,feel-good ending.

Notice that the Adjustment Bureau agents' names areThompson, Richardson and Harry (Tom, Dick and Harry).

Elise's phone number that she gives to David is (212)664-7665. You can try calling it, but it will ring endlessly. The number isowned by Universal Studios and has been used in a number of their movies.

Grade: B+

By Dawn’s Early Light (1990)

2011-12-07T08:00:00.000-10:00

Set in 1991, By Dawn’sEarly Light is based on William Prochnau’s 1983 novel, Trinity’s Child, and is one of the last films to depict a fictionalWorld War III before the end of the Cold War.

In the midst of radical political change in the SovietUnion, some Soviet officers launch a stolen nuclear missile toward theircountry from Turkey, hoping to instigate a nuclear war with the United States.

Fearing a NATO attack when the City of Donetsk is destroyed, the Sovietgovernment retaliates against the United States.

Bombers are scrambled, including Polar Bear 1, piloted byMaj. Cassidy (Powers Boothe) and co-piloted by his lover, Capt. Moreau (RebeccaDe Mornay).

The U.S. President (Martin Landau) has only minutes to react, andinitiates a limited retaliation designed to inflict equal damage to Russiantargets to even the score when the Soviet president calls and implores he notto retaliate in full force.

Led by Gen. Renning “Icarus” (Nicolas Coster), Strategic AirCommand is taken out, but not before command is turned over to the"Looking Glass" plane and its commander, "Alice" (JamesEarl Jones).

As he escapes D.C., the president's helicopter goes down,breaking the president's legs, incapacitating him. Believing the president Tobe dead, the command plane (E-4) picks up the Secretary of the Interior,“Condor” (Darren McGavin), who assumes the presidency.

Condor steps into a situation that is way over his head andis overwhelmed. Unfortunately, he chooses to listen to the advice of Col.Fargo, an advisor on Soviet retaliation capacity. Col. Fargo recommends anaggressive response that includes "cutting off the head of thechicken."

Meanwhile, Polar Bear 1 has problems of its own, includingdamage and the death of a crewman when a nuke goes off and the shock wave rocksthe plane. Additionally, Capt. Moreau loses sight in her right eye when she isslow closing her side of the cockpit curtain and looks at the blast's flash. Anothercrewman goes into deep denial, then reverts to resigned depression about themission before launching out of the bomber in his ejection seat.

When they receive their final "Grand Tour""Go" order, Cassidy and Moreau instead turn back. Resigned to theirfate before a firing squad, they become at peace with their decision. Back onE-4, Condor and Col. Fargo are ready to win the war by activating the country'ssubmarine missile capability, for both of them hate to lose.

The president manages to get medical help and regain communicationwith the Soviets and Alice. And this is where things begin to get hairy and weare treated to two different versions of what Americans believe it means to bepatriotic.

Desperate times call for desperate (horrible, and yettouching) measures.

The title of the movie is from The Star Spangled Banner. The only other movie with a title takenfrom the same song was Twilight’s LastGleaming (starring Burt Lancaster), also a Cold War-based nuclear thriller.

This is the second US-USSR nuclear-confrontation movie inwhich James Earl Jones’s character never leaves an airplane. The first was Dr. Strangelove in 1964.

Grade: A-

The Great Train Robbery (1979)

2011-12-06T08:00:00.000-10:00

Originally released in England as The First Great Train Robbery, and adapted from the novel byMichael Crichton's 1975 historical novel, TheGreat Train Robbery is loosely based on the Great Gold Robbery of 1855.

It is indeed 1855, and every month, £25,000 monthly pay ingold is sent by train to soldiers fighting in Crimean War, protected by twospecial 550-pound double-lock safes with four keys, made of 3/4-inch steel. Upto then, there have never been any robberies from a moving English train.

Successful "businessman" Edward Pierce (SeanConnery) assembles a team and aims to change that. He wants that gold, andenlists the skills of beautiful actress Miriam (Lesley-Anne Down), andpickpocket and safecracker Robert Agar (Donald Sutherland).

What they need are wax impressions of the four keys used toopen the safes. Two are in the possession of Huddleston and Bradford Bankexecutives, and two are locked away in the train station office.

The team first looks for a weakness in the bank's president,Edgar Trent (Alan Webb), that they can exploit to obtain his key and make acopy. His weakness? He bets on ratting terriers. At a ratting event, Edwardwrangles a meeting with Trent's homely daughter and as he waits to meet her, heand Trent's wife have a humorous conversation laced with double entendres aboutconstruction in America.

He discovers that Trent keeps the key in his wine cellar.They sneak in and make a wax impression.

The other bank officer, Henry Fowler (Malcolm Terris), seesMiriam and develops the hots for her, requesting an introduction. Miriam is nothappy, and in fact seems repulsed by the idea. But, she does it for the jobplan, posing as "Madame Lucien," a high-classed prostitute.

She gets him to disrobe completely, including the key aroundhis neck. Suddenly, a whistle blows, heralding a police raid (planned andfaked, of course), and they get their second key impression.

Robert's "rented" son serves as a distraction anddecoy as they search for the remaining two keys at the train station. The ploydoesn't work, so they have to try again.

They case the office and find they have only 75 seconds todo it, when the guard goes to the bathroom. Very difficult, so they enlist catburglar Clean Willy (Wayne Sleep), although he first has to escape from NewgatePrison.

Clean Willy gets into the office through a small ceilingwindow and waits for Robert, who has only 75 seconds when the guard goes to thebathroom. Hindered by the fact that there are lots of keys and he has troublefinding the right ones, Robert succeeds, gives Willy the key impressions andgets out just in time.

Further complications and situations develop, includingprecautionary changes in procedure on the train due to the bank officers'suspicions that a robbery is in the works. (Robert looks absolutely ghastly asMiriam's "brother" lying dead in a coffin after dying of cholera fivedays earlier.)

Grade: B

Niagara (1953)

2011-12-05T08:00:00.000-10:00

Filmed in Technicolor, Niagarawas quite unlike other film noirmovies of the era. But the fact that it was in color and not black and whitedoes not detract from the particular style or aura that film noir represents.

Rose Loomis (Marilyn Monroe) is a sexy blonde bombshellwhose mere presence can cause people at a gathering to stop talking and gawk ather beauty.

Unfortunately for her husband, George (Joseph Cotton), that makeshim a jealous man. Already neurotic with an inferiority complex, and with hishistory of psychiatric care at Letterman Army Hospital, George can make quite aspectacle of himself.

Into their lives come Ray and Polly Cutler, who are arrivingat Niagara Falls for what they call a “delayed honeymoon.” Ray (Max Showalter,credited as Casey Adams) is scheduled to meet with Mr. Kettering Don Wilson), whoheads the Shredded Wheat plant across the river.

Unfortunately, when they check into the Ranbow Cabins, theyfind their intended cabin occupied by the Loomises. Rather than put them out,they decide to take another cabin instead.

The first thing Ray and Polly do is take a ride on the Maidof the Mist and then check out the Scenic Tunnel. While they’re at the tunnel,Polly (Jean Peters) sees Rose kissing a man passionately – and it’s NOT her husband.

That man, we later learn, is Rose’s lover, Patrick (RichardAllan), with whom she’s planning to murder her husband. George must suspectsomething as he’s always reacting jealously to anything she says or does. Theplan is for Rose to lure George into the tunnels, where Patrick will kill him.

When George goes missing, Rose follows through and contactsthe police. A body is found downstream, and when she goes to the morgue toidentify the man they suspect is George, she faints at the viewing. The body,it seems, is not George; it’s Patrick. When Patrick attacked him, George turnedthe tables and killed him instead, then using his claim check, took Patrick’stwo-toned shoes, hoping everyone would think he’s dead, allowing him to start overin life.

George returns to the cabin to kill Rose, but finds Pollythere instead because the manager had moved the Cutlers into the Loomises roomas originally arranged. He escapes, then later begs Polly to let him “staydead.”

Stealing the Ketterings’ boat, George tries to flee toBuffalo. Alas, he runs out of gas and is caught in the drift headed downstreamto the falls. Closer and closer, with Polly aboard because she’d returned tothe boat when he was stealing it and ended up being unconscious when Georgepushed her down.

Anne Baxter was originally cast in the role of Polly Cutler,but had to withdraw. Polly Cutler was supposed to be the central figure in thefilm, but without Anne Baxter, Marilyn Monroe’s part was reworked andhighlighted.

When Don Wilson (Mr. Kettering) was on comedian Jack Benny’sradio show, Benny’s car was a sputtering, coughing 1907 Maxwell. The car modelthat Ray Loomis was working on in Niagarais also a 1907 Maxwell.

Jean Peters is her usual beautiful self in the movie – oh, sobeautiful. Marilyn Monroe, on the other hand, is oh, so gorgeous … a true femme fatale. This is the only timeMonroe’s character ever dies in a movie.

Grade: B+

The Train (1964)

2011-12-04T08:00:00.000-10:00

The Train is basedon French art historian Rose Valland’s 1961 non-fiction book, Le front de l’art, and in addition totelling a story about saving a part of French culture at the close of World WarII, it looks at what motivates one man to do the right thing.

It’s August 1944. The Germans are evacuating Paris as liberationof the city by Allied troops is imminent.

Col. Franz von Waldheim (Paul Scofield) confiscates agallery-full of famous and priceless paintings by the masters, described bycurator Mlle Villard (Suzanne Flon) as "The National Heritage." Packedin protective cases are works by Gauguin, Renoir, Van Gogh, Manet, Degas, Miro,Cezanne, Picasso, Matisse, Braque, Seurat, and Utrillo, among others.

Procuring transportation to Berlin proves a little moredifficult than obtaining the paintings. The commanding general pooh-poohs whathe calls "degenerate" art, but Col. von Waldheim plays the"billion gold Reichmarks” card and gets the train.

Frenchman and railroad area supervisor Labiche doesn't wantto risk his men to save the art, but ends up having to run the train himselfwhen its old and crusty engineer, Papa Boule (Michel Simon), is shot forsabotage.

When hotel owner Christine (Jeanne Moreau) helps by coveringfor him, Labiche sets up a plan with station masters, yardmen, and trackswitchers along the route. The plan deceives the Germans into thinking they'reheading east to Berlin, but in actuality, the train is taking a roundaboutroute back to where they started.

The journey ends when Labiche derails the train, and onceagain, Christine is instrumental in helping to hide and cover for Labiche andthe Resistance.

Von Waldheim hunts him down, continuing to obsess over theartworks ... An obsession that ends up costing him his life at the hands ofLabiche.

Burt Lancaster didn’t use a stunt double in the movie,performing all of his own stunts. During the last 33 minutes of the film, heonly speaks once.

The Train wasnominated for an Academy Award for Writing Original Screenplay, and is one ofthe “Best 1,000 Movies Ever Made,” according to the New York Times’ 2004 movie guide.

Grade: A-

Repulsion (1965)

2011-12-03T08:00:00.000-10:00

Repulsion is RomanPolanski’s first English-language film, and the first of what he calls his“apartment trilogy” – the others being Rosemary’sBaby in 1968, and The Tenant in1976).

In Repulsion, weget to watch a beautiful yet sexually repressed young manicurist named CaroleLedoux (Catherine Deneuve) slowly descent into an insane world of her own. Sheand her sister Helen (Yvonne Furneaux) are Belgians living in Kensington,London.

Helen and her boyfriend, Michael (Ian Hendry) leave Carolealone in the apartment while they travel for a few days to Italy. Carole ispretty insecure with their leaving, but seems to be okay. However, when theyreturn from their trip … ah, but I’m getting ahead of the story.

Carole slowly deteriorates, losing her grip on reality, parallelinga symbolic slow desiccation and rotting of a rabbit carcass and vegetables originallyprepared for a dinner and left out in the kitchen.

She can’t escape hearing Helen and Michael’s sensuous moansof lovemaking in the next room at night, she keeps hearing stories at workabout men and their weaknesses, she dreams of an intruder breaking into herbedroom and raping her, she can’t stand having Michael’s personal effects inthe bathroom – toothbrush, water glass, straight razor, undershirt.

Frightening hallucinations haunt her and startle us – thefleeting presence of a male figure in reflective surfaces, cracks appearing inthe wall, hands reaching out to her in the hallway. Some of what happens isreal – the dripping blood from a client’s fingers as Carole clips her cuticles,the rotting food, her semi-catatonic states at work, what appears to be ananimal heart (perhaps the rabbit’s?) in her purse.

A rejected suitor, Colin (John Fraser), visits her and triesto communicate his desire to get to know her better. Big mistake. The landlord(Patrick Wymark), a lecherous man, comes to collect the rent and comes on hardto her. Big mistake.

And that’s when Helen and Michael return home.

Repulsion’s moodis eerie, enhanced by its black-and-white imagery. Much of the time, the soundis ambient, without background music. And when the music does appear, it seemsto intrude upon our senses, harshly breaking into the slow and somber mood.

Roman Polanski has a cameo role in his film, as a spoonplayer in a street musician trio.

Grade: B+

Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)

2011-12-02T08:00:00.000-10:00

Deep in the upper reaches of the Amazon basin, Dr. Carl Maia(Antonio Moreno) has discovered something fantastic – the fossilized hand of anamphibian creature from the Devonian age. Anxious to confirm his discovery, hetakes his find to the Instituto de Biologia Maritima in Morajo Bay.

There an expedition is assembled, consisting of Dr. Maia,Dr. David Reed (Richard Carlson), Dr. Edwin Thompson (Whit Bissell), researchcompany manager Mark Williams (Richard Denning), and David’s assistant/fiancéeKay Lawrence (Julie Adams).

Arriving at Dr. Maia’s camp, they are horrified to find thatthe doctor’s assistants have been brutally killed. By what, nobody knows. Exceptthe audience; we know it’s a creature with a hand similar to the fossil thatwas found.

When they cannot find the missing parts of the fossil, theydecide to move downstream to what locals call the Black Lagoon. There, theyhope that over the millennia, the water has transported the missing pieces anddeposited them on the lagoon floor.

Once they’re there, the creature looms in the dark waters,reaching, reaching, but never quite catching. Until finally it grabs ontoCaptain Lucas’ (Nestor Paiva) crewmen and brutally kills them. What’smotivating the creature? Is it a killing lust? Is it for food? Is it revenge?What?

Whatever it is, it drives the creature to board Capt. Lucas’boat – an old crate of a vessel named “Rita.”

After finally catching sight of the Gill-man creature, Davidwants to continue studying it, but Mark would rather kill it and bring it backto civilization. The creature translates to money for him, which would helpfund further expeditions and research. Thus begins the clash of agendas andwills.

Just as the ominous music sounds in Jaws, heralding the approach of the great white shark, so does theeerie “Ta Ta TA-A-A-AHH!” signal the presence of the Gill-man.

The scientists use rotenone to stun him and bring him onboard. Unfortunately, he escapes and traps them in the lagoon, later abductingKay and taking her to his underground grotto where the final confrontationtakes place.

Mortally wounded, he swims down into the depths of thelagoon.

Two actors played the Gill-man: Ben Chapman did the landscenes; Ricou Browning did the underwater scenes. The underwater scenes wereparticularly difficult. Because the creature breathed water, air bubbleswouldn’t escape from its gills. Therefore, Browning had to act holding hisbreath for up to four minutes.

Creature from the LostLagoon was originally released in 3-D, requiring the use of polarizedglasses, then was reissued in the 1970s. It was the second Universal Studiosmovie filmed in 3-D, the first being ItCame from Outer Space, released in 1953.

Two sequels were filmed and released: Revenge of the Creature (1955, starring John Agar and Lori Nelson)and The Creature Walks Among Us(1956, starring Jeff Morrow, Rex Reason and Leigh Snowden).

Creature from theBlack Lagoon grossed approximately $1.3 million at the box office.

Finally, do you know what the creature’s appearance wasmodeled after? It was Oscar, the statuette awarded at the Academy Awardspresentations each year.

Grade: B

From the Terrace (1960)

2011-12-01T08:00:00.000-10:00

Based on John O’Hara’s 1958 novel, From the Terrace is a steamy story about an ambitious World War IIveteran who decides that advancing his career and making loads of money areworth any sacrifice he has to make in his personal life – especially hismarriage.

Paul Newman plays David Alfred Eaton, son of a successfulsteel mill owner, Samuel Eaton (Leon Ames). Sam doesn’t exactly have thedeepest feelings for Alfred; his devotion and fatherly love were reservedexclusively for Alfred’s brother, Billy, who died at an early age of spinalmeningitis.

Consequently, Alfred’s mother, Marsha Eaton (Myrna Loy), hasbeen carrying on an affair over the years, her husband having lost the capacityto love her. Little does Alfred know that as the years go by, he will haveemulated his father, and his wife, Mary St. John (Joanne Woodward), willemulate his mother and have affairs of her own.

One day, driving home after a party, Alfred sees a boy fallthrough the ice and saves his life. The boy’s grandfather – James DuncanMacHardie (Felix Aylmer) – is not only grateful, but offers him a job with hisinvestment firm.

The timing is good, for Alfred is feeling left out ofdecision-making at the aeronautics firm he and his war buddy started, and thejob offer gives him a good excuse to quit. Soon he’s a star at the investment firm,sent out on missions for MacHardie that prove profitable to the firm.

On one of these assignments, he meets Natalie Benziger (InaBalin), daughter of the coal mine owner he’s researching for his company. Althoughthey are attracted to each other, they decide not to become involved because ofAlfred’s marriage; an affair would ruin his career, they rationalize.

Mary, on the other hand, begins having an affair with Dr.Jim Roper (Patrick O’Neal), her former fiancé, from whom Alfred stole her away.Despite knowing this, Alfred stays with the marriage upon advice of MacHardie,for the sake of his career and position in the company. But he never forgetsNatalie.

Natalie can’t forget either. She comes to New York City tomeet him, and unfortunately, they are photographed in flagrante delicto by people working for MacHardie’s son-in-law,who had been trying to work out a profitable deal for himself with Alfred’sformer aeronautics company, which is looking to the firm to invest in them.

As a result, Alfred adopts a new theme song philosophy:“Take this job and shove it!”

I read the book when I was into John O’Hara in high school,then saw the movie when it first came out. When I saw it again recently, I wasamazed at how much of the story I had forgotten. That’s why it pays to re-watchmovies every once in a while.

Barbara Eden, later to earn fame as the kindly beautifulwitch in the TV series, I Dream ofJeannie, has a small role as aggressive socialite Clemmie Shreve.

Grade: B+

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum (1966)

2011-11-30T08:00:00.000-10:00

The film, A FunnyThing Happened on the Way to the Forum, was based on the Broadwayproduction of the same name, which opened in May 1962 and ran for 963performances. The stage musical itself was inspired by the works of Plautus(251-183 B.C.), a Roman playwright.

The story takes place in Rome during the reign of EmperorNero.

A lazy yet wily slave – Pseudolus (Zero Mostel, reprisinghis Broadway role) does everything he can to make his own life easy, whileyearning to be free. And that includes bumping heads with neighbor Marcus Lycus(Phil Silvers), a buyer and seller of beautiful women (today, they’d call him a“pimp”).

Hero (Michael Crawford), a young man who’s Pseudolus’ master,has fallen in love with one of Lycus’ girls – Phillia (Annette Andre), a virgincourtesan. Sneaking behind his parents’ back, he enlists Pseudolus to help him.Matters improve when his domineering mother, Domina (Patricia Jessel), and hishenpecked father, Senex (Michael Hordern), leave him in care of Hysterium (JackGilford), and head off on a trip.

In the meantime, Erronius (Buster Keaton), Senex’s next-doorneighbor, has returned from a two-year journey, and seeks his long-lost son anddaughter.

Pseudolus, Hysterium and Lycus encounter Capt. MilesGlriosus (Leon Green), a great Roman soldier to whom Phillia has been sold, andwho arrives with fanfare to claim his bride. Meanwhile, Hero is off on a questto find a cup of mare’s sweat to make a love potion that will win Phillia overto him, a running gag throughout the movie.

The comedy culminates with a protracted escape/chasesequence that leads to nothing, ending up right back where everybody startedfrom following extended pratfalls and Wile E. Coyote type stunts.

And it’s got quite a silly ending. Erronius finds his sonand daughter, and just in the nick of time before some unexpected incestuousrelationships can take place.

A Funny Thing Happenedon the Way to the Forum is a humorous, but in my opinion not very funny movie.It’s full of silly sight gags and a few chuckle-worthy situations and moments,but as a whole, I didn’t care for it when it first came out – something thatwas reconfirmed the last time I saw it.

This was Buster Keaton’s last film, as he was terminally illwith cancer. Keaton did some of his own stunts, including running into a treebranch, which horrified director Richard Lester and his crew.

I’ve read that Phil Silvers was quite petulant duringfilming and locked himself in his trailer. However, when he got word that JonPertwee, who had played Lycus on Broadway, was asked to fill in, Silvers cameout and continued his participation with great enthusiasm.

A Funny Thing Happenedon the Way to the Forum won an Oscar for Best Music, Scoring, Adaptation orTreatment. It enjoyed box office receipts of about $3 million, against its$2-million budget.

Grade: C-

Pulp Fiction (1994)

2011-11-29T08:00:00.000-10:00

Quentin Tarantino’s masterpiece, Pulp Fiction, has earned a spot in 20^th-Century popculture, from the moment Dick Dale’s 1962 guitar rendition of “Misirlou” blastsover the opening credits to when a hard-core strong arm finds religion sittingin a coffee shop.

Small-time robbers Pumpkin (Tim Roth) and his girlfriendHoney Bunny (Amanda Plummer) give us a short prologue before we’re introducedto Vincent Vega (John Travolta), a thug working for Los Angeles gangsterMarsellus Wallace (Ving Rhames), and Vincent’s partner, Jules Winnfield (SamuelL. Jackson).

Pulp Fictionweaves a couple of stories together like a fine carpet, skipping around in thechronology, which only makes continuous sense when pieced together in yourmind.

We skip from Vincent’s and Jules’ confrontation with someguys who fell in bad with Marcellus to Vincent’s “date” with Marcellus’ wife, MiaWallace (Uma Thurman), to Vincent’s dealings with his neo-hippie drug dealerfriend, Lance (Eric Stoltz), and his multi-pierced wife, Jody (RosannaArquette).

Vincent escorts Mia (at Marcellus’ request) to the JackRabbit Slim’s ‘50s theme restaurant. It’s a pretty cool place with its staffimpersonating famous stars – Ed Sullivan, Ricky Nelson, Buddy Holly (SteveBuscemi), Marilyn Monroe, Mamie Van Doren, Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis, and thePhilip Morris midget.

We’re treated to an accidental drug overdose followed bypanic and a huge syringe stab in the heart, then to a scene where Vietnamveteran Capt. Koons (Christopher Walken), gives a little boy a gold watch thatpassed from generation to generation, culminating in years up the boy’sfather’s and Capt. Koons’ asses.

That boy turns out to be Butch Coolidge (Bruce Willis), a prizefighter who double-crosses Marcellus and kills his ring opponent instead oftaking a fall in the fifth round. He flees with his girlfriend, Fabienne (Mariade Medeiros), but not before he and Marcellus share a pawn shop encounter withsome perverts.

Butch is forgiven by Marcellus and leaves town, but notbefore he shoots and kills one of the principal characters (I’ll leave thatdetail for you to find out for yourself).

Oh, back to Vincent and Jules’ early confrontation. One ofthe young men is accidently shot in the face while riding in the back of Jules’car. Ewww, shot in the face and making a bloody mess. They have to detour tofriend Jimmie Dimmick’s (Quentin Tarantino) house, where “cleaner” Winston “TheWolf” Wolf (Harvey Keitel) is called to fix things up.

Oh, back to the restaurant stick-up. That’s where Julesfinds religion, and where Pumpkin and Honey Bunny learn a valuable lesson.

When Vincent plunged the syringe needle into Mia’s chest,the scene was filmed with John Travolta pulling the needle out, then the filmwas run backwards.

Pulp Fiction wonQuentin Tarantino and Roger Avary the Academy Award for Best OriginalScreenplay. It also was nominated for Best Picture, Best Director (Tarantino),Best Actor (John Travolta), Best Supporting Actress (Uma Thurman), BestSupporting Actor (Samuel L. Jackson), and Best Film Editing.

Great music, by the way.

Grade: A

The Russians are Coming, the Russians are Coming (1966)

2011-11-28T08:00:00.000-10:00

The Russians areComing, the Russians are Coming was adapted from Nathaniel Benchley’s 1961novel, The Off-Islanders, and followsa Soviet submarine crew after their ship runs aground near the fictional townof Gloucester Haven at Cape Ann, Massachusetts, resulting in Cold War panicand paranoia amongst the townspeople.

As Lt. Yuri Rozanov (Alan Arkin) and a small group of theRussian submariners try to find a boat to help pull their ship off a sand bar,they run into nothing but trouble.

First, they have to deal with musical comedy writer WaltWhittaker (Carl Reiner), his wife Elpeth (Eva Marie Saint), and their twochildren. Then, things really start to go downhill and they run afoul of the citizenrywhen they borrow the Whittakers’ car and it runs out of gas, forcing them totry and steal Postmistress Muriel Everett’s (Doro Merande) old car.

They end up tying her in a chair and hanging her on thewall, but not before she manages to call Alice Foss (Tessie O’Shea), the town’sgossipy telephone operator. Alice awakens Police Chief Link Mattocks (BrianKeith), who rousts his police force, including Officer Norman Jonas (JonathanWinters).

Word spreads quickly that the Russians have landed on theisland and have attacked the airport. The story grows and grows and grows, withresidents running all over the place brandishing guns and rifles.

Fendall Hawkins (Paul Ford), a wanna-be military leader,takes control of the armed citizens and tries to force his authority over ChiefMattocks, to no avail. A convoy of cars heads over to the airfield where theyconfront Stanley (Michael J. Pollard), an airplane mechanic working on the soleaircraft at the “field,” whose primary concern seems to be his leaky nose.

As Rozanov’s group attempts to commandeer a senator’s cabincruiser, the Russian Captain (Theodore Bikel) manages to free the sub from thesand bar, but not before Alexei Kolchin (John Philip Law), a sailor left behindat the Whittakers’, bonds with and falls in love with Alison Palmer (AndreaDromm), their 18-year-old neighbor who’s helping them pack and taking care oftheir little daughter.

Everything culminates in a tense facedown at the town’sharbor.

The Russians areComing, the Russians are Coming has a whole bunch of funny moments. Thecraziness of the townspeople, combined with the language problems and comedicphrasing of the Russians makes for great hilarity and certain laughs.

A child actor, little Johnny Whitaker, so impressed BrianKeith with his acting in a small role that Keith tested, then cast him in thetelevision series, Family Affair.

If the submarine used in the film didn’t look Russian,that’s because it wasn’t. And it wasn’t American either. It wasn’t Japanese, itwasn’t German, it wasn’t French. Why? Because the producers couldn’t get theirhands on any real submarines, so they built their own.

And if the town of Gouchester Haven looked like it was areal New England town, well, it wasn’t. The scenes were all shot on the WestCoast.

The Russians areComing, the Russians are Coming was nominated for four Academy Awards –Best Picture, Best Actor (Alan Arkin), Film Editing, and Writing AdaptedScreenplay.

Grade: B+

The Beast with Five Fingers (1946)

2011-11-27T08:00:00.000-10:00

The Beast with FiveFingers was based on a short story by W.F. Harvey that was published in New Decameron, and takes place in the1900s Italian village of San Stefano.

Francis Ingram (Victor Francen) is celebrated pianist, whoseright side was immobilized by an earlier stroke, forcing him to get around in awheelchair. One night, he invites his closest friends to his home for dinner sothey can attest that he is of sound mind.

At the dinner are Conrad Ryler (Robert Alda), an antiquesdealer and Ingram’s longtime friend; Ingram’s nurse, Julie Holden (Andrea King);Hilary Cummins (Peter Lorre), a musicologist whose passion is books; and Duprex(David Hoffman), Ingram’s attorney.

That night, Ingram’s wheelchair accidentally rolls down thestairs, killing the pianist. Ingram’s will is read to the group, which nowincludes his brother-in-law Raymond Arlington (Charles Dingle) and nephewDonald Arlington (John Alvin). The Arlingtons assume Donald will be named soleheir and are licking their chops over the fortune they’ll make when they sellthe antiques in the mansion.

Unfortunately for them, Ingram had changed his will andnamed Julie the sole heir. The Arlingtons are furious and vow to contest thewill with the help of Duprex, whose loyalty has changed, going with whoeverpays his fee via 1/3 of the estate.

Police Commissario Ovidio Castanio (J. Carrol Naish)investigates Ingram’s death, looking for motive and possibility. No sooner doeshe start his investigation when Duprex is killed – choked to death.

A piano plays. A small window in Ingram’s mausoleum isbroken from the inside. Ingram’s left hand is discovered to be amputated.Prints on the mausoleum’s broken glass match prints found on a key thatunlocked Ingram’s piano. And, a handprint is found on the ground.

The horror continues; Donald is attacked by a hand,witnessed by the commissario. Hilary begins encountering the hand, attemptingto prevent it from attacking him.

This is where it gets very scary with the film’sblack-and-white contrast, almost like a filmnoir, with sharp shadows, low camera angles, eerie music, and extremefacial close-ups of Hilary. The music turns scary and Lorre’s portrayal ofHilary makes one’s hair stand on end. And, the special effects that show thedisembodied hand playing the piano are incredible.

Julie figures things out and accuses Hilary of being themurderer and of trying to put the blame on Ingram’s hand. But did Hilary REALLY do it? Or did the hand? Don’tworry, the commissario explains everything at the end.

The music played by Francis Ingram and (later) hisdisembodied left hand is Bach Chaconne in D minor, a piece that was arranged byJohannes Brahms for a left-hand solo.

The Beast with FiveFingers was remade in 1981 as TheHand.

Grade: B+

Fargo (1996)

2011-11-26T08:00:00.000-10:00

The dark comedy Fargowas produced, written and directed by brothers Joel and Ethan Coen, who gave ussuch memorable movies as The Big Lebowski,O Brother Where Art Thou?, No Country for Old Men, and the 2010remake of True Grit.

It’s a strange movie, funny and yet kinda tragic. There arereally no deep lessons to be learned, no philosophy save for “Thou shalt notkill,” and in fact, the movie hasn’t got much of a point at all. And yet, it’sfunny.

I’d estimate about half of the humor comes from the accentsthey use. Everybody says “Ya-ah,” and the phrase “Youuu betcha” was popularizedvia the dialogue.

Marge Olmstead Gunderson (Frances McDormand), is chief ofpolice in Brainerd, Minnesota (“Minneh-SO-OH-ta”), and she is called in toinvestigate the deaths of three people – a state trooper and two unfortunateswho happened upon the murder scene and tried to effect a fast getaway thatfailed.

Jerry Lundegaard (William H. Macy), car dealer, is in deep debt,and is trying hard to raise the money he needs. So he hires Carl Showalter(Steve Buscemi), a small-time crook, to kidnap his wife Jean (Kristin Rudrud),so they can demand and collect an $80,000 ransom, which he’ll split with Carl.

Carl shows up at the discussion rendezvous with another crook– Gaear Grimsrud (Peter Sormare), acold-blooded killer with a calm demeanor but a nasty temper. And that resultsin complications and a whole lot of deaths.

Chief Marge continues her investigation, which leads hercloser and closer to Jerry. In fact, she’s the only “normal” person in thewhole film, playing it like a straight man, allowing the other characters toinitiate the humor.

Two scenes in particular cracked me up. The first is aninnocuous conversation between Chief Marge and a former acquaintance who oncehad a crush on her (a Japanese-American with a Minneh-SO-OH-ta accent). Theother is a conversation between Jerry and an escort service girl in a fancynightclub as José Feliciano entertains.

Things get really messed up and more people die, which initself would normally horrify the viewer. And yet, in Fargo, it’s really not that bad. Oh sure, seeing Carl’s athleticsocked foot sticking up from a buzzing wood chipper spewing out a spray of redblood out the other end Is gross … and yet I found myself laughing at theincongruity of the whole thing.

And when Wade Gustafson (Harv Presnell), Jean’s father,takes it upon himself to deliver the ransom money (he takes $1 million insteadof just $80,000, for some inexplicable reason) in direct defiance of Jerry’sdemands, he gets shot up pretty bad. And it seemed like poetic justice whenJerry got shot in the face and had to mumble-talk.

None of the movie’s scenes was actually shot in Fargo, NorthDakota. Most of William H. Macy’s stuttering lines were actually written in thescript. Although the movie supposedly is based on a true story, that’s nottrue. The “F” word (and derivatives) was used 75 times in the movie.

Fargo wasnominated for seven Academy Awards, including Best Picture, Best Director (JoelCoen), Best Supporting Actor (William H. Macy), Best Cinematography, and BestFilm Editing. It won Oscars for Best Actress (Frances McDormand) and BestWriting Original Screenplay (the Coen brothers).

The movie is #84 on the American Film Institute’s 100 Movieslist, and #93 on its 100 Laughs list, among others. It is listed in the U.S.National Film Registry, the most recently released feature film in theRegistry.

You betcha!

Grade: B+

The Three Faces of Eve (1957)

2011-11-25T08:00:00.000-10:00

Adapted from a case study by psychiatrists Dr. Corbett H.Thigpen and Dr. Hervey M. Cleckley, TheThree Faces of Eve is the true story of Chris Costner Sizemore, aka EveWhite.

The story begins when Eve White (Joanne Woodward) isreferred to psychiatrist Dr. Curtis Luther (Lee J. Cobb) and arrives at hisoffice with her husband, Ralph (David Wayne). It seems that Eve has beensuffering headaches and loss of memory.

After a year of treatment, Eve improves. That is, until oneday the postman delivers fancy shoes and dresses that she apparently bought formore than $200. Ralph is furious and when he goes to confront Eve, finds hertrying to stranger their daughter with a venetian blind cord.

She tells Dr. Luther that she’s again not rememberingthings, and now she’s started hearing voices – at times her own voice.

Shy, demure, reserved, quiet, and described as a “dreary”woman, Eve apparently has multiple personalities, discovered by Dr. Luther oneday when her alter ego, Eve Black, suddenly makes an appearance. Dr. Lutherquickly calls in his associate, Dr. Francis Day (Edwin Jerome), whoparticipates in questioning and diagnosis.

Eve Black is the polar opposite of Eve White – flirtatious,gregarious, fun-loving and vivacious. Husband Ralph isn’t handling this welland finds a new job in Florida while Eve remains behind for treatment. Ralphlearns that Eve has been going out dancing and confronts her, not believing itwas Eve Black.

Two years later, Eve White tries to commit suicide but EveBlack emerges and stops her. Then, when Eve Black consults with Dr. Luther, shereveals that now she is havingblackouts. Under hypnosis, a third personality emerges – a woman who can’tremember her name but who knows the two Eves. She gives herself the name, Jane.

Jane is a pleasant woman who speaks confidently andknowledgeably, and who strikes up a relationship with a man named Earl (KenScott) who wants to marry her. But Jane turns him down, revealing her multiplepersonality disorder in the process.

With further questioning using hypnosis, Dr. Luther uncoversan event that caused the split – Eve’s mother (played by Nancy Kulp, who wouldbecome famous as Jane Hathaway in the television series The Beverly Hillbillies) had forced her to kiss her deadgrandmother goodbye at her funeral.

Joanne Woodward’s acting is something to behold, especiallywhen she manifests the different personalities.

By the way, you can tell the film was made in the 1950s –everybody smokes, including doctors and patients in the office and in thehospital.

Vince Edwards (Dr. Ben Casey in the ‘60s television series Ben Casey) has a small, uncreditedspeaking role as an Army sergeant who tries to pick up Eve Black when shedances with, and sings to, him at a bar.

Although Judy Garland was intended to play of Eve White, sheproved unreliable and the role was given to the relatively unknown JoanneWoodward. June Allyson also had been offered the role, but her husband, DickPowell, talked her out of it.

Lee J. Cobb’s character, Dr. Luther, almost went to OrsonWelles but he opted out. He predicted that whoever played Eve White would winan Oscar, and in fact, Joanne Woodward did win the Best Actress Oscar.

Grade: B

Another Thin Man (1939)

2011-11-24T08:00:00.000-10:00

Adapted from Dashiell Hammett’s 1930 short novel, The Farewell Murder, Another Thin Man is the third film inthe “Thin Man” series. Back to entertain audiences are Nick and Nora Charles(William Powell and Myrna Loy, reprising their roles).

When the movie opens, they’ve just returned to New York Cityfrom Kansas City. They move into their New York apartment with their luggage –lots of luggage, which includes a portable fire hydrant for their terrier,Asta.

Oh, and they now have a year-old son – Nick Jr.

No sooner are they settled than they get a call from Nora’sdad’s former partner, Col. Burr MacFay (C. Aubrey Smith) of Long Island,demanding that they come to visit him.

When they get there, Col. MacFay tells them that a man namedPhil Church (Sheldon Leonard) is terrorizing his household and making threatson his life. That night, Col. MacFay is murdered in his bed.

Who killed him? Is it his daughter Lois (Virginia Grey)? OrLois’ fiancé Dudley Horn (Patric Knowles)? Maybe it’s Freddie Coleman (TomNeal), MacFay’s secretary. Or his housekeeper, Mrs. Isabella Bellam (PhyllisGordon). Perhaps it’s the Charles’ nanny, Dorothy Waters (Ruth Hussey).

Or maybe, just maybe, it’s that Church fellow and hisgirlfriend, H. Culverton “Smitty” Smith (Muriel Hutchison). Or his henchman DumDum (Abner Biberman).

No matter, Nick Charles, who has been trying to retire(again), is on the job and figures it all out, revealing everything to a roomfull of the likely suspects.

Marjorie Main (best known as Ma Kettle), has a small butentertaining role as Mrs. Dolley, an apartment landlord. We also get to seeShemp Howard (one of the Three Stooges) in an uncredited role as a comicalcrook named Wacky.

Another Thin Man wasthe eighth of 14 films that co-starred William Powell and Myrna Loy. There wasa three-year delay between the second “Thin Man” film – After the Thin Man (1936) – because Powell was being treated forcancer.

Grade: B

The Spiral Staircase (1946)

2011-11-23T08:00:00.000-10:00

Based on Ethel Lina White’s 1933 novel, Some Must Watch, The SpiralStaircase is a stylish classic film noir, save for the investigatingpoliceman, of which there is none.

In 20^th Century New England, Helen Capel (DorothyMcGuire), a mute domestic helper for ailing old woman, Mrs. Warren (EthelBarrymore), finds herself in danger from a killer who is going around murderingwomen with physical defects.

Mrs. Warren’s two sons – step-brothers Professor Warren(George Brent) and Steve (Gordon Oliver) – are taking care of her in the familyhouse. Living with them are Mrs. Emma Oates (Elsa Lanchester) and her husband(Rhys Williams), the professor’s assistant, Blanche (Rhonda Fleming), and NurseBarker (Sara Allgood).

Throughout the film, Mrs. Warren keeps telling Helen toleave the house for her own safety, hinting that something bad is going tohappen and that she knows everything.

One by one, characters are taken out of the picture – Mr.Oates is sent out to get ether for Mrs. Warren, Emma Oates becomes intoxicatedand falls asleep, Blanche is murdered in the cellar, Nurse Barker quits in ahuff when Mrs. Warren keeps berating her.

We learn early on that the killer is in the house.Throughout the movie, the music winds eerily through our minds and candle lightcasts stark shadows in the darkness, a testament to the film noir-ish atmosphere that pervades throughout the house.

Helen is unable to call for help, trying to reach Dr. Parry(Kent Smith), who’s in love with her and wants to take her to Boston where he’ssure doctors can fix her voice through mental therapy. Helen apparently losther voice as a young girl when she witnessed her parents being burned to deathin their own house.

She frantically tries uses the telephone, only to discovershe can’t tell the operator what number to ring (remember, this was in theearly 1900s) to reach Dr. Parry, who was supposed to take her with him thatnight, but got called away on an emergency.

Her attempts to save herself become nightmarish and causenot the least amount of consternation to those watching the movie. It can bepretty nerve-wracking if you let it be.

Joan Crawford really wanted to play the part of Helen Capel,and in fact, owned the rights to the story. However, Louis B. Mayer, head ofMGM Studio, refused the allow it as he didn’t want her playing any more“cripples or maimed women.”

Thirty-minute radio adaptations were broadcast in 1947 on The Hedda Hopper Show (George Brentreprised his film role), and in 1949 on ScreenDirector’s Playhouse (Dorothy McGuire reprised her film role).

The Spiral Staircasewas remade twice – in 1975 featuring Jacqueline Bisset, and in 2000 ontelevision with Nicollette Sheridan.

Grade: B

Earthquake (1974)

2011-11-22T08:00:00.000-10:00

I saw Earthquakewhen it first came out, on the big screen of the Waikiki Theater, with theSensurround speakers situated in front of the audience and along the sides,impressed by the way the fake papaya and coconut trees shivered when thespeakers were activated.

The story itself is rather simple – a huge earthquake hitsLos Angeles and chaos ensues. Architect Stuart Graff (Charlton Heston) ishaving problems with his wife, Remy Royce-Graff (Ava Gardner), who is thedaughter of his boss, Sam Royce (Lorne Green).

On his way to work, he stops by the home of Denise Marshall(Geneviève Bujold), the widow of a co-worker, to deliver an autographedfootball to her son, fulfilling a promise he made to him.

In the meantime, daredevil Miles Quade (Richard Roundtree)practices a stunt, waiting for the arrival of a Las Vegas agent whom he hopescan land him a gig in Vegas. His partner Sal Amici’s (Gabriel Dell) sister, RosaAmici (Victoria Principal), helps him secure a loan to complete construction ofthe stunt.

When a scientist in the field near the San Andreas fault iskilled during a tremor, the head of the Seismology Institute, Dr. WillisStockle (Barry Sullivan), decides to inform Mayor Lewis (John Randolph) tobegin emergency preparations.

It’s not hard to tell when the earthquake is imminent. Firstthere are small tremors, then an elevator floods and kills a supervisor at theHollywood Reservoir Dam, sheep panic, dogs begin barking, birds fly off tosafety, coyotes howl, and at least in the theater, the Sensurround speakersbegin rumbling.

When it hits, the earthquake is devastating. Everythingfalls, all the buildings sustain tremendous damage, people are killed andtrapped, and chaos reigns. Policeman Lou Slade (George Kennedy) takes controlin his immediate vicinity, helping the injured and organizing rescueoperations.

A National Guardsman, Jody Joad (Margoe Gortner), asupermarket manager, has had eyes for Rosa and when he sees her being held onsuspicion of looking a drug store, takes her under his wing. At first grateful,she begins to fear for his life (he’s a disturbed person).

The injured are directed to a makeshift emergency hospitalin the underground parking levels of Wilson Plaza, with Dr. James Vance (LloydNolan) in charge. Remy ends up there, along with her father, who had a heartattack while helping those in his office escape the heavily damaged building.Denise is also there with her son.

An aftershock causes the Hollywood Dam to rupture, sending atorrent of water into the Hollywood area and a rampaging river of water intothe storm drains. The aftershock also trapped about 70 people in the makeshifthospital but they are freed by Stewart’s and Officer Lou’s heroic actions. Noteverybody is fortunate to escape, however; some are swept away in the stormdrain.

Walter Matthau appears briefly as a drunkard wearingoutlandish clothes. He is listed in the closing credits as WalterMatuschanskayasky.

Earthquake saw thefirst use of “Sensurround” with large speakers and sub-audible “infra bass”sound waves equivalent to a jet airplane taking off (120 decibels).

One of the theaters where the effect was tested was thefamous Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood, California. The test actuallycracked the plaster in the ceiling, so the theater owners installed a net overthe audience to catch any debris that might break off and fall. It was a goodgimmick; when Earthquake premieredthree months later, the theater enjoyed huge audiences during its run.

Despite some controversy over Sensurround (such as severaldocumented nosebleeds during the showings), Earthquakewas a humongous success, with a box office of $79 million, against a budget of$7 million.

Earthquake wasnominated for four Academy Awards, winning the Oscar for Best Sound, as well asa special achievement award for visual effects.

When viewing the film today, one has to remember that it’snearly 40 years old, filmed and released at a time when there was no such thingas CGI. All special effects were accomplished in-camera using models, mattesand miniatures.

Grade: B-

Things to Come (1936)

2011-11-21T08:00:00.000-10:00

When I was but a young lad in high school, I saw Things to Come for the first time, andwas fascinated by the images it thrust upon me and my imagination for the firsttime. Since then, I’ve seen it a couple more times, including most recently onTurner Classic Movies.

Things to Come is a looseadaptation of H.G. Well’s 1933 novel, TheShape of Things to Come. In fact, Wells wrote the screenplay for the movie.It purports to predict a future history of the world, from 1940 to 2036, set ina fictional city called Everytown that obviously represents London.

The story opens on Christmas Eve 1940 with the world on thebrink of war. Signs and headlines warn of impending hostilities, interlacedwith scenes of the joyous Christmas season. But joy is not to be, as warbreaks out that very night.

Scenes of preparation and panic grow ever more frantic. Theimages are frightening – film noir stark shadows cutting quickly to soldiers,citizens, children, all hurrying to flee the falling bombs. A little drummerboy marches to and fro, with huge shadows of marching soldiers on the wallbehind him.

The enemy resorts of gas bombs, resulting in devastation anddeath. Hordes of enemy aircraft buzz overhead; tanks roll over trenchedsoldiers. The years fly by … 1945, 1955, 1960 … and yet the war rages on until1966 when the end is in sight. But at what price? The landscape is desolate,the cities destroyed.

A year later, pestilence strikes in the form of a wanderingsickness, released by the enemy as a last resort. Half the world population succumbsto the disease; wanderers are shot on sight. There are no more comforts oflife; people wear makeshift clothes, a cure is desperately needed.

The disease finally abates in 1970. Warlords have emerged,including Rudolph the Boss (Ralph Richardson), an arrogant, blustery bully of aman, not unlike Gen. Bethlehem (Will Patton) in the 1997 movie, The Postman. The Boss gets hiscomeuppance when a representative of Wings of the World, a new organizationdevoted to peace, arrives. John Cabal (Raymond Massey) brings news of the neworder, infuriating the Boss.

Wings of the World prevails, and civilization advances. It’snow 2036 and the world is an art-deco futuristic and mechanical Utopia. Butthere is discontent with progress. There are some, including Theotocopulos(Cedric Hardwicke) who want forward movement stopped at any cost, allowingmankind of rest in the glory of what humans have already accomplished.

Cabal’s great-grandson, Oswald Cabal (also played byMassey), wants to send people around the moon and back, but Theotocopulos hasstirred the popular and intends to destroy the giant gun that will propel thespace capsule to the moon.

In a scene somewhat reminiscent of a later science fictionmovie, When Worlds Collide, a hordeof people attempt to destroy the gun – an impossible feat because of itsimmense size, and also, because it’s too late. The gun fires, and Cabal’sdaughter and her boyfriend are sent on their way to the moon.

It’s interesting that the movie’s shot to the moon is set ina time 50 years after Apollo 8 circumnavigated the moon in 1986.

Mankind, it seems, has been, and continues to be aboutperseverance and exploration of the possible.

It’s interesting to note that the date on the newspapershown in 1966 at the end of the world war is Sept. 21, 1966. On that date, H.G.Wells, writer of the book and screenplay, would have become 100 years old.

Grade: A

The Black Scorpion (1957)

2011-11-20T08:00:00.000-10:00

The movie poster for TheBlack Scorpion cries out, “Why did 100,000 people panic? His bullets bitinto it … yet on it came! Suitable only for adults.” I wasn’t an adult when Isaw the film, but nobody cared.

Geologists Dr. Hank Scott (Richard Denning) and his partner,Dr. Arturo Ramos (Carlos Rivas), have arrived near the small village of SanLorenzo, Mexico, to study the recently erupted nearby volcano. Their work hasto be postponed, however, due to mysterious disappearances and deaths followingthe eruption.

They meet Teresa Alvarez (Mara Corday), owner of theMiraflores cattle ranch, whose vaqueros have left in fear of a “demon bull”that has been frightening the cattle. During the first encounter with Teresa,they find a slab of obsidian rock, which turns out to hold an ancient scorpion.

To their surprise, the scorpion comes to life when it’sremoved. Sending the specimen to Mexico City, they await the arrival of notedentomologist Dr. Velasco (Carlos Múzquiz), who identifies the species as Scorpionida rex, long believed to beextinct.

When giant scorpions rampage through the village, Hank,Arturo and Teresa join forces with Dr. Velasco to find and enter the entranceto the scorpions’ lair. When they get there, Hank and Arturo descend into thecavern.

One of the farmhands, a little boy named Juanito (MarioNavarro), stows away and comes along on the expedition. (You just know he’sgoing to get into trouble). While in the caves, they find dozens of ‘wayoversized scorpions, including one exceptionally gigantic one more than doublethe size of the others, and witness a fight between a 30-foot tentacle worm andscorpions.

And yep, Joanito has hidden in the cage used to descend. Hewanders around and has to be rescued when he’s chased by a giant bulbousspider. The caves are sealed with explosions and everyone rests a little easy,thinking the danger has passed.

But it hasn’t. Hank and Arturo are soon summoned to MexicoCity. The scorpions, it seems, have fled into the Chamilca Caves, a system thatleads to Mexico City.

The scorpions emerge, derail a train, and munch on thepassengers. Unfortunately for them, they get munched on by the giant one, whoeliminates them all and heads for Mexico City. Panic ensues among the populaceand a final showdown is staged at the city’s stadium.

The stop-action special effects are superbly adequate, andthis is marred only occasionally (especially when shown on screen with realhumans), when the monsters appear as semi-transparent shadows, obviously fortechnical and budgetary reasons.

If the scorpions sound familiar, it’s because the noises theymake are the same as the giant ants in Them!Also, when the original King Kong wasproduced, they had an unused leftover giant worm prop with “octo-arms” that wasused in The Black Scorpion.

Grade: B+

The Sundowners (1960)

2011-11-19T08:00:00.000-10:00

Adapted from Australian writer Jon Cleary’s 1952 novel, The Sundowners examines how a man’snomadic ways can divide a family.

Paddy Carmody (Robert Mitchum), a sheep drover in theAustralian Outback, takes on a six-week job as sheep drover from Bulinga toCawndilla. Along with his wife, Ida (Deborah Kerr), and teen-aged son, Sean(Michael Anderson Jr.), their ankle-biting dog Ollie and horse Sam, they hitthe dusty trail.

Along the way, we are treated to some awe-inspiring sceneryand a veritable menagerie of indigenous wildlife – parrots, kookaburras,koalas, kangaroos, dingo dogs, and emu.

Joining them is the worldly Sir Rupert “Rupe” Venneker(Peter Ustinov), who like Paddy has the heart of a traveler. Ida and Sean, onthe other hand, have a hankering to settle down and plant some roots (literallyand figuratively).

When their flock of 1,200 head of sheep is delivered, Idamanipulates Paddy into working as a sheep shearer for a while at the Wattle Runstation, hiring on as a cook, and securing jobs for Rupe as a wool roller andSean as a tar boy.

Rupe doesn’t mind, for he has found some companionship with Mrs.Gert Firth (Glynis Johns), owner of the Pastoral Hotel in Cawndilla.

At the shearing station, Ida befriends Jean Halstead (DinaMerrill), the boss’ wife, a former society girl who’s bored out of her skullwith nothing to do. When one of the shearer’s wives joins them, pregnant andtired, the women stick together as a support group for themselves.

Paddy is ready to move on after six months, but fulfills hisobligation to represent Wattle Run in a sheep shearing challenge against theMulgrue station. Confident that he’ll win, his pals bet heavily on the contest,only to see him bested by an old geezer with a lot of stamina. When it’s allsaid and done, Paddy is bent over, streaming perspiration and exhausted, andhis opponent is fresh as a daisy.

When a new drover brings his sheep into town, Paddy wins arace horse from him in a “2-Up” game. The horse shows great speed and promise,and Ida names him “Sundowner,” the name given to someone whose home is wherethe sun goes down, someone without a home (which is what the Carmodys are).

Their plan to buy a farm and settle down hinges on winning alocal horse race … but …

The Sundowners wasthe second of four movies to pair Robert Mitchum and Deborah Kerr. The otherswere Heaven Knows, Mr. Allison(1957), The Grass is Greener (1960),and Reunion at Fairborough (TV movie,1985).

A critical success, the film was nominated for five AcademyAwards, including Best Actress (Deborah Kerr), Best Supporting Actress (GlynisJohns), Best Director, Best Picture and Best Screenplay Based on AnotherMedium.

Unfortunately, TheSundowners absolutely bombed in the United States at the box office,despite hitting the top ten in the United Kingdom and the top three inAustralia. And that’s too bad; I thought it was a pretty good movie.

Grade: B+